Over-committing, perfectionism and sketchy personal boundaries, can result in feeling overwhelmed any time of year. But the unrealistic expectations, madcap pace and endless entertaining of the holidays shifts the potential for overwhelm into overdrive—physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
The solution is actually quite simple: when you fall in love with yourself, everything else falls into place, personally and professionally. Choosing love as your core energy automatically enhances every aspect of your life: your perceptions, opportunities, relationships, and priorities. You get unstuck, reclaim your personal power and recapture your zest for living, moving yourself forward into a life you love. When love transforms your relationship with yourself, it transforms your personal life, your work and the world. That gift you choose to give yourself will quite possibly be the most precious one you’ll receive this holiday season.
Instead of choosing to live as a victim of circumstance, consider embracing the power of loving yourself unconditionally through these 14 tools from chapter 7 of my book Choose Your Energy, Change Your Life! Making these simple tools a way of life can help you stay centered in flow in every season of your life. And when you drift off center occasionally, as any of us can do when overwhelmed by stress and gripped by ancient self-destructive scripts, employing these tools is the key to recognizing it quickly and getting back on track easily.
1 Pay Attention: If you don’t recognize you’re feeling stressed, you can’t change it. Practice mindfulness by noticing what you are thinking, feeling, saying and doing and figuring out why.
2 Breathe: Next time things start getting a little crazy, stop, take three deep breaths, become fully present, restore sanity and realize you have options. Your brain needs oxygen to function effectively. Try setting a timer on your phone or computer to remind you periodically to stop, close your eyes for a minute and just breathe.
3 Be Here Now: Forget rehashing the past and agonizing over the future. This moment is your only real opportunity to make a difference. Just you, just here, just now, just be. Perpetual equanimity and fulfillment come from dancing in the moment.
4 Opportunity Knocks: While life won’t always follow your plans and expectations, everything in life is an opportunity. An opportunity to understand yourself better, open your heart wider and develop greater compassion for yourself and others. While the details of our lives differ, we all experience the same range of emotions, from fear, frustration and loneliness to joy, contentment and peace. With yourself firmly planted in the present moment, it is your ability to respond creatively and constructively that makes the difference.
5 Get Curious: If everything is an opportunity, where might the opportunity be in this situation? The Universe is far more creative than we can imagine. Assume the best and look for the silver lining in even the darkest cloud.
6 Talk to Yourself: It is the smartest crazy thing you’ll ever do. It improves your sense of perspective, creativity and humor. You might discover that what you were dreading isn’t likely to happen or will be much easier than you feared. With a little imagination, it might even be a great opportunity. This tool is particularly effective for constructively engaging, understanding and motivating your sage, guardian and muse.
7 Write It Down: Getting stressful thoughts out of your head and onto paper can also improve your sense of perspective. Often, just putting them in writing reduces them to a more manageable size.
8 Move It: When in doubt, move about. A gentle walk around the room, the block, or the gym will begin releasing natural tranquilizers and restoring full breathing. It feeds your creativity so you will be able to come up with more resourceful options for handling your situation.
9 Hydrate: Water fosters flow and sustains life. It composes up to 60 percent of the average human body and covers 70 percent of the earth’s surface. Drink. Shower. Bathe. Swim. Cry. Hydrate yourself in every way imaginable and watch yourself flow through the ups and downs of life with greater flexibility, creativity and resilience.
10 Trust Your Gut: You have inside you all the wisdom you seek. Instead of stressing yourself out by fighting your instincts or feeling compelled to justify your hunches with logic, try trusting your intuition instead.
11 Behave As If: There are two aspects to this one: If you gave yourself the same care and attention you give your friends and loved ones, what support would you give yourself right now? And what would you dare to do if you believed you couldn’t fail?
12 Take Baby Steps: Slow and steady produces meaningful, lasting results. Vast forced output is rarely sustained. Great strides of lasting value involve myriad baby steps over time. If the conceivers of the Taj Mahal had believed fast was the only way to get there, it would have crumbled in the first storm. Your dreams are the same. Don’t try to take them all on at once. Identify the next small step and take it. Then another and another and another. Before you know it, you will have built your dream and it will last your whole life through.
13 Celebrate: Every step forward is a cause for celebration. Every time you move closer to your dreams, pat yourself on the back with a party moment. Ta-da! A steady stream of self-affirmation will continue releasing additional positive fuel to keep you moving forward.
14 Time for What Matters: Time is not a scarce resource. You have all the time you need for the things that matter. Your sole responsibility in each moment is to discern what matters most right now, to focus and to follow through. Using the other tools will help clear the way to accessing your deepest wisdom and moving forward, in each moment, with confidence, peace and joy.
Fostering constructive core energy using these tools supports a life of freedom based in flow, rather than a life lived at the effect of any fears that may have taken root within yourself or in those around you. No longer tossed by the winds and waves of circumstance, you will learn to live anchored in the power and surety of love in every moment.
© Copyright 2017 DJW Life Coach LLC. All rights reserved.
What readers say about
the impact of Deborah’s book
“With the same energy and determination she applied in the professional world, Deborah has taken her considerable expertise in human potential and has now set her sights on the largest co-op in the world, humanity. ‘Choose Your Energy, Change Your Life!’ tackles what I believe are the most important questions we each must ask: who am I, where did I come from, why am I here, and what’s love got to do with it (cue Tina Turner)? These are not trivial or philosophical questions for the answers change what we do, why we do it, who and what we love. I am grateful for the opportunity to walk with Deborah on this critical journey.” JD Messenger, Award Winning Author of “11 Days in May: The Conversation That Will Change Your Life”
“To me the great thing about Deborah’s book is how ‘accessible’ she makes the ideas. The Oxygen Mask is probably the single best example. As with so many of the ideas in the book, she explains the principle in such a simple way that it’s got universal application to virtually any reader. I can imagine people having multiple moments of ‘Oh….I get it!’ throughout the book. The stories from her own life as well as stories of her clients’ experiences become stories about all of us—stories about which the reader will think, ‘I am living my own version of this.’ Well done—bravo!” Joe Calloway, Author of “Be The Best At What Matters Most”
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What clients say about
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“I knew Deborah before she became a Professional Life Coach. I’ve been amazed at how she has changed her life. When I decided it was time to begin making decisions about the next phase of my life, I knew immediately that Deborah was the person I wanted to work with. Her personal and professional experiences help her guide clients through coaching in a way that is individualized and delightfully eye-opening. Her warmth and sensitivity are immediately apparent, even over the phone. With gentle encouragement and permission, she will guide you through an examination of your life, including difficult experiences. She will help you gain insight from your past choices and then explore possibilities for moving forward in less encumbered ways. When you work with Deborah, your life will take on new meaning and your potential will be limitless!” Chris
“The work I did with Deborah continues to change my life. While I have learned many valuable lessons from her, the greatest was the deep insight that is available to me when I listen to and learn from my own inner wisdom. Her intuition, discernment and encouragement have taught me to trust my own intuition—creating new paths and possibilities for my life. One of Deborah’s great gifts is helping others respect and connect with their inner guidance and through that connection, to form a deeper, more meaningful bond with the collective wisdom and energy of all.” Ryan
Choose Your Energy: Change Your Life! 