Enjoying Your Success?

What is Success?

A common belief is that success will increase your sense of confidence, security, freedom and happiness. Having a big bank account is often considered synonymous with success and key to reaping its rewards. But with life’s uncertainties and the prevalence of reversal of fortune due to catastrophic illness, disaster and loss, it sometimes feels like there’s never going to be enough money. Even among those who have great financial wealth based on inherited fortunes or lucrative careers, there are many examples of chronic low self-esteem, insecurity and unhappiness.

What’s your definition of success?

My own life is a cautionary tale that the relentless pursuit and achievement of the traditional measures of success via the typical path of working non-stop is no guarantee of lasting health, peace or happiness. How was it that I became so burned out—physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually—being paid well to travel the world doing challenging work with interesting people?

Why did my ever escalating titles
and income not bring the self-esteem,
satisfaction and joy I’d expected?

Clearly, achieving the traditional definition of success was bringing me the trappings of success—money, stuff and titles—but it wasn’t yielding the feelings I’d believed would automatically flow from them—equanimity, strength, resilience and joy. And there’s the rub, because, whenever we desire something—a better car, body, job or relationship—what we are really seeking is the feeling we think we’ll have once the target is ours.

It’s not the “thing” that we seek;
we seek the feeling we believe
having it will provide. 

So let’s get back to the original question. How do you define success? Not sure but curious? Consider trying this activity. DON’T FORCE THIS—KEEP IT FUN. When you’re tired or lose interest, stop. Return to the activity when you have fresh energy for it.

Label the top of the page in this manner:


Tangible Results         Feelings        Other Sources

Now, brainstorm (no judging or filtering) all the tangible measures and results of your desired success, being as specific as possible. For example, don’t just write money, write each of the things you believe that money will finance such as college educations at the best schools for your three children, a large estate for your heirs, an advanced degree for yourself, a new car every few years, invigorating vacations in interesting destinations, substantive charitable donations, etc.

When you start to lose energy for this column, shift to the feelings column. For each tangibles entry, enter the desired feeling you believe you’ll feel more of once you have that tangible. The entries in this column will probably repeat. Common entries might include happiness, security, peace of mind, self-esteem, freedom. Again, no self-judgement, just note everything that comes up. When your energy for the feelings column starts waning, stop. Study your list and identify the distinct feelings you identified. Now in the “other sources” column, brainstorm the things (activities, relationships, objects, etc.) that also produce these feelings for you.

Choose Your Energy:
Change Your Life!

Now ponder the insights revealed by your results. Look at the many ways you can foster your desired feelings and identify the optimal mix for you. Let’s use the example of exhilaration as a desired feeling. If you experience exhilaration from going for a run, watching your daughter play soccer, receiving a financial windfall and getting a promotion at work, consider the benefits and drawbacks of making all of your exhilaration energy investments in a single asset. Might a more balanced life portfolio based on spreading your energy across a variety of sources yield a more sustainable and satisfying return on your investment?

It’s up to you—you are
the “great decider” for your own life.

With mindfulness and intention, you’ll begin to appreciate that success isn’t really about money or things—success is about how you feel. Success comes in all shapes, sizes, forms and combinations. As unique as each snowflake. Care enough about yourself  to determine the unique life design that will support you in living the life you desire. 

What commitment will you make to yourself today to begin making your life feel more successful on your terms? You’re worth the investment!


FREE Coaching Opportunity
($250 VALUE)

If someone offered you a precious gift for an hour of your time, would you be interested? That’s what I offer with a Complimentary Coaching Session. A comp session isn’t a brief demo or sample. It’s a full 45-minute coaching session focused on current real life challenges of your choosing plus 15 minutes to discuss your experience and any questions you may have about my approach to coaching. 

There is no expectation or pressure to hire me as your ongoing coach. Providing meaningful, substantive comp sessions with no obligation is one of the ways I demonstrate gratitude and give back to the Universe a small portion of the abundance and opportunity it bestows on me daily.

The real value of a comp session? PRICELESS! 

Those who have experienced comp sessions will tell you, when you come to your session open to the possibilities for transformation and fully committed to your own growth, big breakthroughs can happen! 

It’s FREE and life enhancing. CLICK HERE NOW to learn more and sign up.

You’ve got nothing to lose,
except the limits fear, stress and pain
have been placing on your life.

FREE Coaching Session

Time to get off that hamster wheel
and step into your greatness!

© Copyright 2015 DJW Life Coach LLC. All rights reserved.

About djwlifecoach

I am retired from 40+ years of helping individuals and teams build lives and organizations they love. One of the great joys of my retirement from professional practice is having greater bandwidth to donate my professional and creative talents to support and promote animal and social welfare charities. During my 30 years as an organization transformation consultant, I served as a senior partner in four of the world’s largest, most prestigious global professional services firms. In 2005, I took a five-year sabbatical to find healing and peace because non-stop work had taken its toll. My recovery from burnout led to finding my purpose guiding others on their journeys. As a board-certified coach, author, consultant, radio host, Reiki Master and EFT/tapping practitioner, I share hope, possibilities and empowerment with the world. 111419 DJW Sid CH Pet Corner Photo ShootI help clients achieve rapid, extraordinary, sustainable results by connecting who they are with what they do, a connection often lost through stress and the sheer busy-ness of daily life. Courageous self-awareness and unconditional self-love lead to honest choices based on priorities that nurture you and those around you on a journey to wholeness. Decades in coaching, consulting, change management, organization development, human resources and mixed media artistic expression honed my business sense, professionalism, creativity, intuition, leadership and communication skills. The result? Practical tools that help you become more insightful, creative, committed, productive and fulfilled. Even the most dedicated and hard-working individuals can shift from frustration to a sense of futility when their values, passion, work, and lives become disconnected. One of the problems with not taking care of our health is that the effects of ignoring it are often slow to show up. We continue to juggle family responsibilities, work and finances until we lose ourselves, waking up one day 50 pounds heavier in body and soul—no good to ourselves or anyone else. I love working with people who are ready to take life-changing action to make their dreams a reality. At each moment, you have inside you all the wisdom you seek to choose your life and your way of showing up. Limiting thoughts, beliefs and feelings can block you from moving forward. An absence of love and concern for yourself can result in negative head talk that holds you back with discouraging messages about who you are and what you can do. By listening and caring deeply, I guide you in connecting with your own inner wisdom. We identify the way you’d like to live. We determine what’s blocking you and release you from the hold those blocks have over you—unleashing the positive energy that will fuel you forward. Together we develop a plan to move you closer to your heart’s desire. My books, blog, radio show and signature coaching programs help individuals and organizations harness the transformative energy of love to turn unexplored possibilities into fulfilling realities and step into their greatness. What’s love got to do with it? Everything! My book, Choose Your Energy: Change Your Life! (Hay House/ Balboa Press 2013) shares my story and the stories of 10 of my clients along with my signature Discovery Framework. For fun, I love reading, sewing, knitting, yin yoga, afternoon tea, opera and movies. I live in Williamsburg, Virginia with my spouse, Wilson Abney, and the cat who runs our life, Maisy Jane.
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