The Gift

Here is the essence of what I have learned from my 56.5 years on this earth.  The nugget.  The kernel.  The gem.  The only hope for finding peace in this life – not comfort, but deep abiding peace – is to be insatiably, fearlessly curious about myself.

Not just the attractive parts – my kindness, compassion, wisdom, generosity and humor.  It is important for me to acknowledge the good things, but not enough.  I need to be endlessly inquisitive about all of it, especially the unattractive parts – my insensitivity, impatience, obsession, bitterness, anger, anxiety and despair.  I have grown the most – found deep abiding peace – only by embracing the ugly parts of myself as well – appalling thoughts, speech and behavior.   It all matters, must all be considered in the mix – good, bad, pretty, ugly.  All courageously, compassionately, lovingly blended to represent the entire package that is me.  This is what it means to be human.

We are all capable of the full range of human motivations and behaviors – none of us are exempt.  Refusing to see any part of it, lulling myself into oblivion by clinging to an incomplete, distorted Pollyanna self-image, has always been my undoing.  The greater and deeper the denial, the longer and harder the fall.  Because that which is denied will wreak havoc.  Maybe not today or tomorrow.  But the longer we look without seeing, the longer we hear without listening, the more we stand to lose.

The great irony is that the only person fooled when I deny the full truth of who I am is me.  The world already knows all of it.  I broadcast it 24/7.  Through what I say and when I am silent.  Through the actions I take and the times I fail to act.  Through what I cherish and what I reject.  Through what I long for and what I fear.  I am the only one kept in the dark by living a life of denial.

The greatest gift I can give anyone is having the honesty and courage to see and share myself fully so that we both might benefit.  From our shared insight, compassion and good humor.  Failures, resilience, victories.  We are here to help each other grow by sharing without reservation the only thing we have to give – our hearts.

Dear Ones, Know that you are loved and loving, blessed and a blessing. Every day, whatever you do or leave undone, say or leave unsaid. Every part of every one of you is precious and essential to all of us.
Give without reservation. 

© Copyright 2010 DJW Life Coach LLC. All rights reserved.

About djwlifecoach

As a retired board-certified coach, author and Reiki master teacher, I continue to share hope, possibilities and empowerment with the world. What's love got to do with minimizing stress and getting unstuck? Everything! My book, "Choose Your Energy: Change Your Life!" (Hay House/Balboa Press 2013) shares my story and the stories of 10 of my clients along with my signature Discovery Framework. During my 30 years as an organization transformation consultant, I served as a senior partner in four of the world's largest, most prestigious global professional services firms. In 2005, I took a five-year sabbatical to find healing and peace because non-stop work had taken its toll. My recovery from burnout, including a sustained 80-pound weight loss and freedom from 10 years of debilitating depression, led to finding my purpose sharing hope, possibilities and empowerment with the world. Through healing and self-exploration, I discovered that loving yourself unconditionally is the key to transforming your personal life, your work and the world. With attention and intention, I learned to live in alignment with love through a wealth of energy-shifting tools and techniques that help me reduce stress, anxiety and overwhelm by releasing limiting beliefs, emotions and habits. My books, blog and radio episodes help individuals and organizations harness the transformative energy of love to turn unexplored possibilities into fulfilling realities and step into their greatness. Learn more and access FREE resources at For fun, I love singing, reading, sewing, knitting, golfing and movies. I live in Williamsburg, Virginia with my husband, Wilson, and the coaching cats who manage my life—SiddhaLee and Maisy Jane.
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