Here is the essence of what I have learned from my 56.5 years on this earth. The nugget. The kernel. The gem. The only hope for finding peace in this life – not comfort, but deep abiding peace – is to be insatiably, fearlessly curious about myself.
Not just the attractive parts – my kindness, compassion, wisdom, generosity and humor. It is important for me to acknowledge the good things, but not enough. I need to be endlessly inquisitive about all of it, especially the unattractive parts – my insensitivity, impatience, obsession, bitterness, anger, anxiety and despair. I have grown the most – found deep abiding peace – only by embracing the ugly parts of myself as well – appalling thoughts, speech and behavior. It all matters, must all be considered in the mix – good, bad, pretty, ugly. All courageously, compassionately, lovingly blended to represent the entire package that is me. This is what it means to be human.
We are all capable of the full range of human motivations and behaviors – none of us are exempt. Refusing to see any part of it, lulling myself into oblivion by clinging to an incomplete, distorted Pollyanna self-image, has always been my undoing. The greater and deeper the denial, the longer and harder the fall. Because that which is denied will wreak havoc. Maybe not today or tomorrow. But the longer we look without seeing, the longer we hear without listening, the more we stand to lose.
The great irony is that the only person fooled when I deny the full truth of who I am is me. The world already knows all of it. I broadcast it 24/7. Through what I say and when I am silent. Through the actions I take and the times I fail to act. Through what I cherish and what I reject. Through what I long for and what I fear. I am the only one kept in the dark by living a life of denial.
The greatest gift I can give anyone is having the honesty and courage to see and share myself fully so that we both might benefit. From our shared insight, compassion and good humor. Failures, resilience, victories. We are here to help each other grow by sharing without reservation the only thing we have to give – our hearts.
Dear Ones, Know that you are loved and loving, blessed and a blessing. Every day, whatever you do or leave undone, say or leave unsaid. Every part of every one of you is precious and essential to all of us.
Give without reservation. Namaste.
© Copyright 2010 DJW Life Coach LLC. All rights reserved.
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About djwlifecoach
I am retired from 40+ years of helping individuals and teams build lives and organizations they love. One of the great joys of my retirement from professional practice is having greater bandwidth to donate my professional and creative talents to support and promote animal and social welfare charities.
During my 30 years as an organization transformation consultant, I served as a senior partner in four of the world’s largest, most prestigious global professional services firms. In 2005, I took a five-year sabbatical to find healing and peace because non-stop work had taken its toll.
My recovery from burnout led to finding my purpose guiding others on their journeys. As a board-certified coach, author, consultant, radio host, Reiki Master and EFT/tapping practitioner, I share hope, possibilities and empowerment with the world.
111419 DJW Sid CH Pet Corner Photo ShootI help clients achieve rapid, extraordinary, sustainable results by connecting who they are with what they do, a connection often lost through stress and the sheer busy-ness of daily life. Courageous self-awareness and unconditional self-love lead to honest choices based on priorities that nurture you and those around you on a journey to wholeness.
Decades in coaching, consulting, change management, organization development, human resources and mixed media artistic expression honed my business sense, professionalism, creativity, intuition, leadership and communication skills. The result? Practical tools that help you become more insightful, creative, committed, productive and fulfilled.
Even the most dedicated and hard-working individuals can shift from frustration to a sense of futility when their values, passion, work, and lives become disconnected. One of the problems with not taking care of our health is that the effects of ignoring it are often slow to show up. We continue to juggle family responsibilities, work and finances until we lose ourselves, waking up one day 50 pounds heavier in body and soul—no good to ourselves or anyone else.
I love working with people who are ready to take life-changing action to make their dreams a reality. At each moment, you have inside you all the wisdom you seek to choose your life and your way of showing up. Limiting thoughts, beliefs and feelings can block you from moving forward. An absence of love and concern for yourself can result in negative head talk that holds you back with discouraging messages about who you are and what you can do.
By listening and caring deeply, I guide you in connecting with your own inner wisdom. We identify the way you’d like to live. We determine what’s blocking you and release you from the hold those blocks have over you—unleashing the positive energy that will fuel you forward. Together we develop a plan to move you closer to your heart’s desire.
My books, blog, radio show and signature coaching programs help individuals and organizations harness the transformative energy of love to turn unexplored possibilities into fulfilling realities and step into their greatness. What’s love got to do with it? Everything! My book, Choose Your Energy: Change Your Life! (Hay House/ Balboa Press 2013) shares my story and the stories of 10 of my clients along with my signature Discovery Framework.
For fun, I love reading, sewing, knitting, yin yoga, afternoon tea, opera and movies. I live in Williamsburg, Virginia with my spouse, Wilson Abney, and the cat who runs our life, Maisy Jane.
Not just the attractive parts – my kindness, compassion, wisdom, generosity and humor. It is important for me to acknowledge the good things, but not enough. I need to be endlessly inquisitive about all of it, especially the unattractive parts – my insensitivity, impatience, obsession, bitterness, anger, anxiety and despair. I have grown the most – found deep abiding peace – only by embracing the ugly parts of myself as well – appalling thoughts, speech and behavior. It all matters, must all be considered in the mix – good, bad, pretty, ugly. All courageously, compassionately, lovingly blended to represent the entire package that is me. This is what it means to be human.
The greatest gift I can give anyone is having the honesty and courage to see and share myself fully so that we both might benefit. From our shared insight, compassion and good humor. Failures, resilience, victories. We are here to help each other grow by sharing without reservation the only thing we have to give – our hearts.
Choose Your Energy: Change Your Life! 