Creating a Life You Love

Often, at the close of the year, we take stock and set goals for the future. We think about the Life we dream of, identifying destructive habits we’d like to leave behind and new, more constructive, ones we’d like to embody.

We all wish to live a life we love. If that’s the case, why does it seem that so few of us actually do?

Creating the life we desire should be easy, but for many reasons it isn’t. Sometimes we’re too busy working, paying bills or picking up kids to give it much thought. Sometimes we don’t know how to get clarity so we put it off until “later.” Or, perhaps, we have ignored what we really want and, instead, created a life that others wanted for us or themselves—ouch.

How to Create the Life You Dream Of
If you aren’t living the life you want, how do you get back on track? How do you get clear on what you want? And how do you stay committed to it?

Here are some steps that can help you get started:

1: Clarity  
Before getting what we want we must first know what that is. This may seem obvious but it trips up even the most intelligent people right out of the gate. Take out a blank sheet of paper and write “My Dream Life” at the top. List everything you want to have, do, be and share. From this list generate goals to help get you back on course.

2: Avoid the “Shiny New Object Syndrome” 
It’s easy to lose momentum by getting distracted by every new, exciting possibility. Having clarity makes it easier to distinguish those opportunities that help move us forward from the ones that throw us off track.

The next time a new opportunity arises ask yourself, “How will this help me achieve my ultimate goal of “x”? If it doesn’t, you may want to place that opportunity in the “maybe someday” parking lot and move on.

3: Redefine Failure  
People who focus on the destination as opposed to the journey also tend to be more critical when things don’t go as they planned. When you fully engage in the process while remaining detached from a specific outcome, it’s easier to appreciate the end result, whether it’s exactly what you hoped for or something you never considered.

The next time you do experience something you label a “failure,” however, try reframing it. Consider that you have just learned how not to accomplish what you intended, and then celebrate the lesson.

4: Give in to Your Primal Instincts  
Craving new challenges is hard-wired into our DNA. If it weren’t, we never would have left the cave, invented the wheel or launched into outer space. Ignoring this primal code over the long term can lead to disappointment. So how do you happily succumb to this urge? With more clarity and structure.

Create a list of things you haven’t done yet, but want to do. Be specific and remember the three, guaranteed “no fail” rules when it comes to setting goals you actually intend to achieve:

A. Write it down.

B. WRITE IT DOWN.

C. WRITE IT DOWN!

Putting your list in writing transforms it from a desire into a personal contract with yourself. There is great power in setting a written intention.

5: Go Guilt-Free 
Taking time to care for ourselves, guilt-free, is difficult for many people. Sometimes it feels as though things will fall off the rails if we “let go.” But when we do ease up, something amazing happens: the earth still spins and people find a way to manage without us. Taking time off leaves us feeling refreshed and makes us better workers, parents, spouses and citizens. Plus, going guilt-free can be contagious.

Baby Steps
As with anything worthwhile, there is no quick fix when it comes to designing and building the life you desire. These steps can guide you along the path to loving the life you’re living while you’re moving closer to living a life you love!

In Closing
I’d like to thank you for your loyal readership this year. Sharing with you and all of my clients has allowed me to stretch myself and spread my wings in ways I wouldn’t have dreamed possible. As I head into the New Year, I have my first book in production with Balboa Press (a division of Hay House), I’m in discussions with Royal Caribbean concerning my first “Choose Your Energy: Change Your Life!” cruise, I’m launching a weekly talk radio program with VoiceAmerica and offering my first signature webinar format group coaching programs based on the principles shared in my book. Collaborating with you and all of my clients has been the greatest gift and privilege of my entire Life. I am eternally grateful for the faith and trust you place in me as your Partner and Guide.

You are Loved and Loving, Blessed and a Blessing. Remember, the Art of Living is Enjoying the Journey. Namaste and a Very Happy New Year.

About djwlifecoach

I am retired from 40+ years of helping individuals and teams build lives and organizations they love. One of the great joys of my retirement from professional practice is having greater bandwidth to donate my professional and creative talents to support and promote animal and social welfare charities. During my 30 years as an organization transformation consultant, I served as a senior partner in four of the world’s largest, most prestigious global professional services firms. In 2005, I took a five-year sabbatical to find healing and peace because non-stop work had taken its toll. My recovery from burnout led to finding my purpose guiding others on their journeys. As a board-certified coach, author, consultant, radio host, Reiki Master and EFT/tapping practitioner, I share hope, possibilities and empowerment with the world. 111419 DJW Sid CH Pet Corner Photo ShootI help clients achieve rapid, extraordinary, sustainable results by connecting who they are with what they do, a connection often lost through stress and the sheer busy-ness of daily life. Courageous self-awareness and unconditional self-love lead to honest choices based on priorities that nurture you and those around you on a journey to wholeness. Decades in coaching, consulting, change management, organization development, human resources and mixed media artistic expression honed my business sense, professionalism, creativity, intuition, leadership and communication skills. The result? Practical tools that help you become more insightful, creative, committed, productive and fulfilled. Even the most dedicated and hard-working individuals can shift from frustration to a sense of futility when their values, passion, work, and lives become disconnected. One of the problems with not taking care of our health is that the effects of ignoring it are often slow to show up. We continue to juggle family responsibilities, work and finances until we lose ourselves, waking up one day 50 pounds heavier in body and soul—no good to ourselves or anyone else. I love working with people who are ready to take life-changing action to make their dreams a reality. At each moment, you have inside you all the wisdom you seek to choose your life and your way of showing up. Limiting thoughts, beliefs and feelings can block you from moving forward. An absence of love and concern for yourself can result in negative head talk that holds you back with discouraging messages about who you are and what you can do. By listening and caring deeply, I guide you in connecting with your own inner wisdom. We identify the way you’d like to live. We determine what’s blocking you and release you from the hold those blocks have over you—unleashing the positive energy that will fuel you forward. Together we develop a plan to move you closer to your heart’s desire. My books, blog, radio show and signature coaching programs help individuals and organizations harness the transformative energy of love to turn unexplored possibilities into fulfilling realities and step into their greatness. What’s love got to do with it? Everything! My book, Choose Your Energy: Change Your Life! (Hay House/ Balboa Press 2013) shares my story and the stories of 10 of my clients along with my signature Discovery Framework. For fun, I love reading, sewing, knitting, yin yoga, afternoon tea, opera and movies. I live in Williamsburg, Virginia with my spouse, Wilson Abney, and the cat who runs our life, Maisy Jane.

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