Chasing the Blues Away

If you find yourself feeling a little sad, less energetic than usual, a bit bored or a touch lonely, you may be experiencing “the blues.”

While you can get the blues at any time in response to your circumstances, they are especially common

  • as a sense of letdown in the aftermath of the winter holiday mayhem and
  • when there are fewer daylight hours and the weather is less hospitable to outdoor activities that don’t involve 17 layers of clothing and intentionally sliding on snow and ice.

Chasing the Blues Away

The good news? There are lots of simple steps you can take to restore your sense of optimism and vitality.

Here are ten ways to nurture, encourage and delight yourself with hope, possibilities and empowerment at any time of year in any situation:

  1. Exercise regularly and maintain a healthy nutrition (quality and quantity).
  1. Keep a regular sleep schedule (quality and quantity).
  1. Pamper yourself with soothing and joyful self-care—fresh flowers, massage, music, haircut, spa, mani/pedi, aromatherapy and more.
  1. Take a vacation—even a weekend away can help.
  1. Make dates for special occasions with friends and family.
  1. Do things that make you laugh.
  1. Make progress on a beloved, but long-delayed, project by doing just a little bit at a time each day.
  1. Invest yourself in activities that enhance your spiritual wellbeing.
  1. Volunteer—give something of yourself to others.
  1. Express your creativity. Sing, make art, paint a room, take dance lessons—the options are endless.

If what you’re experiencing seems like more than episodic blues because symptoms continue to expand and intensify, please seek help from medical, mental health and spiritual professionals. You are worth the effort.

Author’s content adapted under license, © 2008 Claire Communications

 

FREE Coaching Opportunity
($250 VALUE)

If someone offered you a precious gift for an hour of your time, would you be interested? That’s what I offer with a Complimentary Coaching Session. A comp session isn’t a brief demo or sample. It’s a full 45-minute coaching session focused on current real life challenges of your choosing plus 15 minutes to discuss your experience and any questions you may have about my approach to coaching.

There is no expectation or pressure to hire me as your ongoing coach. Providing meaningful, substantive comp sessions with no obligation is one of the ways I demonstrate gratitude and give back to the Universe a small portion of the abundance and opportunity it bestows on me daily.

The real value of a comp session? PRICELESS! 

Those who have experienced comp sessions will tell you, when you come to your session open to the possibilities for transformation and fully committed to your own growth, big breakthroughs can happen!

FREE Coaching Session

What clients say about
the power of coaching with Deborah 

“I knew Deborah before she became a Professional Life Coach. I’ve been amazed at how she has changed her life. When I decided it was time to begin making decisions about the next phase of my life, I knew immediately that Deborah was the person I wanted to work with. Her personal and professional experiences help her guide clients through coaching in a way that is individualized and delightfully eye-opening. Her warmth and sensitivity are immediately apparent, even over the phone. With gentle encouragement and permission, she will guide you through an examination of your life, including difficult experiences. She will help you gain insight from your past choices and then explore possibilities for moving forward in less encumbered ways. When you work with Deborah, your life will take on new meaning and your potential will be limitless!” Chris

“The work I did with Deborah continues to change my life. While I have learned many valuable lessons from her, the greatest was the deep insight that is available to me when I listen to and learn from my own inner wisdom. Her intuition, discernment and encouragement have taught me to trust my own intuition—creating new paths and possibilities for my life. One of Deborah’s great gifts is helping others respect and connect with their inner guidance and through that connection, to form a deeper, more meaningful bond with the collective wisdom and energy of all.” Ryan

Click here to sign up for a 60-minute
complimentary coaching session with Deborah.

 

What readers say about
the impact of Deborah’s book

“With the same energy and determination she applied in the professional world, Deborah has taken her considerable expertise in human potential and has now set her sights on the largest co-op in the world, humanity. ‘Choose Your Energy, Change Your Life!’ tackles what I believe are the most important questions we each must ask: who am I, where did I come from, why am I here, and what’s love got to do with it (cue Tina Turner)? These are not trivial or philosophical questions for the answers change what we do, why we do it, who and what we love. I am grateful for the opportunity to walk with Deborah on this critical journey.” JD Messenger, Award Winning Author of “11 Days in May: The Conversation That Will Change Your Life”

“To me the great thing about Deborah’s book is how ‘accessible’ she makes the ideas. The Oxygen Mask is probably the single best example. As with so many of the ideas in the book, she explains the principle in such a simple way that it’s got universal application to virtually any reader. I can imagine people having multiple moments of ‘Oh….I get it!’ throughout the book. The stories from her own life as well as stories of her clients’ experiences become stories about all of us—stories about which the reader will think, ‘I am living my own version of this.’ Well done—bravo!” Joe Calloway, Author of “Be The Best At What Matters Most”

Click here to explore Deborah’s book.

Explore Deborah's Book

© Copyright 2016 DJW Life Coach LLC. All rights reserved.
Posted in All My Blog Posts, Joy & Vitality | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

An Exercise in Vitality

What’s one of the top 10 ways to reduce stress? Exercise.

One of the top 10 ways to relieve anxiety? Exercise.

Promote vitality? Exercise.

Relieve depression? Build self-esteem? Improve self-image and confidence? Increase stamina, strength, flexibility, stability and dexterity? Reduce tension? Improve mental sharpness and alertness? Strengthen immunity? Reduce health risks? Lose weight? Improve sleep?

Exercise. Exercise. Exercise.

An Exercise in Vitality

With a list like this, one might ask if there is any aspect of human life that isn’t helped by regular exercise. Not according to physical and mental health experts. Anyone and everyone who is concerned with health and well-being agrees: physical activity is a vital component for optimum physical and emotional health. Regular exercise is the key to increasing the quality of life. Being active improves body, mind, heart and soul.

Amazing as it may seem, 20 minutes of aerobic exercise three times a week produces far greater benefits than you’d expect out of investing a mere 60 out of 10,080 total minutes of living per week. The typical return on that less than 0.6% investment of your time yields returns far greater than you’d imagine.

Yet, a quarter of Americans get absolutely no exercise and nearly two-thirds get less than the recommended minimum of 30 minutes several times a week. Fewer than 15 percent comply with the American College of Sports Medicine’s recommendations for adult fitness.

If Exercise Is So Good For Us,
Why Don’t We Do It?

No Time: That’s the reason most people offer when asked why they don’t exercise. And it’s true; most of our lives are busier than ever before. But the fact is, when something is important, when we are committed, when we really want something, we find the time for it. Because time is not a scarce resource.

That’s right: time is NOT scarce. We have all the time we need for the things that matter. Our sole responsibility in each moment is to discern, using intuition and reason, what matters most right now, to focus and to follow through. According to noted psychologist, Abraham Maslow,

“If our true nature is permitted to guide our life, we grow healthy, fruitful, and happy … [Yet] ninety-eight percent of us die before we taste the nectar of our magnificence.”

If we look beneath the easy and ready excuse of time scarcity, we find more complex reasons why people won’t start or stick with even a reasonable, regular exercise routine.

Impatience: People want to get in great shape RIGHT NOW! Never mind that it took 5, 10 or 20 years to get into the shape they’re in.

Unrealistic Expectations: Looking for the “perfect body” is a guaranteed set up for failure.

Denial: Many people are in denial that they might have health problems or suffer a debilitating disease.

Intimidation: The idea of failure, looking foolish or being a beginner intimidates many people into never starting an exercise program.

Painful Memories: Humiliating and abusive past experiences or old feelings of inadequacy can fuel resistance to exercising.

Fear of Rejection: If your friends and family tend to be out-of-shape, you might fear being shunned by them if you become more fit.

Depression: Years ago when my mental and physical health were at an all-time low and my primary care physician was abusing me yet again concerning my lack of health and fitness, I SCREAMED back, “Trust me, Doc, when you’ve sunk so low that your only hope is an early death, you invest little concern over leaving a good-looking corpse.”

Physical exercise is essential to good physical and emotional health and a sense of wellbeing. If any of these reasons lay beneath the surface of your “not enough time” excuse, consider these suggestions:

  • Start slowly.
  • Enroll a buddy.
  • Find an activity you like.
  • Enjoy a fun distraction (audiobooks, TV, movies, music) while exercising.
  • Go for progress, not perfection.
  • Realize that it may hurt before it feels good.
  • Remember healthy bodies come in all shapes and sizes.
  • Don’t give up. If you miss a day, begin again the next day.
  • Be patient. Substantive, substantial change takes time.
  • Congratulate yourself on your hard work and follow-through.
  • Ask for help if you need it.

You don’t have to train as a triathlete for exercise to make a difference. Specialists say that short bursts of exercise can be effective, too. Regular bouts of 10 to 15 minutes of aerobic “sparks,” such as dancing, an early morning walk or a midday office stair climb, combined with a few strengthening exercises and stretching routines can have measurable physical, mental and emotional impact.

Though you may not lose a lot of weight or become ready to compete in 10K races with these minimum activity levels, you can improve your overall health and start feeling more invigorated. Parking your car at the far end of the lot and walking to the mall, taking the stairs instead of the elevator, dancing through your housework—every little bit helps!

Author’s content adapted under license, © 2008 Claire Communications

 

FREE Coaching Opportunity
($250 VALUE)

If someone offered you a precious gift for an hour of your time, would you be interested? That’s what I offer with a Complimentary Coaching Session. A comp session isn’t a brief demo or sample. It’s a full 45-minute coaching session focused on current real life challenges of your choosing plus 15 minutes to discuss your experience and any questions you may have about my approach to coaching.

There is no expectation or pressure to hire me as your ongoing coach. Providing meaningful, substantive comp sessions with no obligation is one of the ways I demonstrate gratitude and give back to the Universe a small portion of the abundance and opportunity it bestows on me daily.

The real value of a comp session? PRICELESS! 

Those who have experienced comp sessions will tell you, when you come to your session open to the possibilities for transformation and fully committed to your own growth, big breakthroughs can happen!

FREE Coaching Session

What clients say about
the power of coaching with Deborah 

“I knew Deborah before she became a Professional Life Coach. I’ve been amazed at how she has changed her life. When I decided it was time to begin making decisions about the next phase of my life, I knew immediately that Deborah was the person I wanted to work with. Her personal and professional experiences help her guide clients through coaching in a way that is individualized and delightfully eye-opening. Her warmth and sensitivity are immediately apparent, even over the phone. With gentle encouragement and permission, she will guide you through an examination of your life, including difficult experiences. She will help you gain insight from your past choices and then explore possibilities for moving forward in less encumbered ways. When you work with Deborah, your life will take on new meaning and your potential will be limitless!” Chris

“The work I did with Deborah continues to change my life. While I have learned many valuable lessons from her, the greatest was the deep insight that is available to me when I listen to and learn from my own inner wisdom. Her intuition, discernment and encouragement have taught me to trust my own intuition—creating new paths and possibilities for my life. One of Deborah’s great gifts is helping others respect and connect with their inner guidance and through that connection, to form a deeper, more meaningful bond with the collective wisdom and energy of all.” Ryan

Click here to sign up for a 60-minute
complimentary coaching session with Deborah.

 

What readers say about
the impact of Deborah’s book

“With the same energy and determination she applied in the professional world, Deborah has taken her considerable expertise in human potential and has now set her sights on the largest co-op in the world, humanity. ‘Choose Your Energy, Change Your Life!’ tackles what I believe are the most important questions we each must ask: who am I, where did I come from, why am I here, and what’s love got to do with it (cue Tina Turner)? These are not trivial or philosophical questions for the answers change what we do, why we do it, who and what we love. I am grateful for the opportunity to walk with Deborah on this critical journey.” JD Messenger, Award Winning Author of “11 Days in May: The Conversation That Will Change Your Life”

“To me the great thing about Deborah’s book is how ‘accessible’ she makes the ideas. The Oxygen Mask is probably the single best example. As with so many of the ideas in the book, she explains the principle in such a simple way that it’s got universal application to virtually any reader. I can imagine people having multiple moments of ‘Oh….I get it!’ throughout the book. The stories from her own life as well as stories of her clients’ experiences become stories about all of us—stories about which the reader will think, ‘I am living my own version of this.’ Well done—bravo!” Joe Calloway, Author of “Be The Best At What Matters Most”

Click here to explore Deborah’s book.

Explore Deborah's Book

© Copyright 2016 DJW Life Coach LLC. All rights reserved.
Posted in All My Blog Posts, Joy & Vitality | Tagged , , | 1 Comment

Taking Stock

Ancient Romans named the month of January for Janus, their god of gates, doors and beginnings. Always pictured with two faces—one looking toward the future, the other back at the past—Janus is a fitting symbol for the turning of a new year.

As you step through the doorway from one year to the next, it’s natural to do as Janus does: look ahead and back. This year, instead of dashing into making New Year’s resolutions, consider pausing to take stock of your life through respectful reflection and compassionate contemplation.    

Who are you?
What do you believe?
What do you really need?

Taking Stock

When you know who you are at your core, you stop functioning on auto-pilot and start living on purpose with mindfulness, focus and intention. Your choices become more conscious and clear. You make thoughtful, active choices instead of having kneejerk reactions or staying stuck in the mire of indecision.

Here are a few questions to help move you forward. You might want to have a journal or notebook handy to capture your thoughts. While many find that writing longhand helps them really connect with their breath and heart, if typing on a keyboard is what frees your soul, go for it.

What is aching to be expressed?

What needs healing?

What unique gifts, talents and skills
do you bring to the world?
How are you using or not using them?

What or whom do you need to forgive?
How about yourself?

What beliefs are holding you back
or getting in your way?

What would you like to let go of
once and for all?

What are your greatest joys?

Take a holistic approach by considering the vital information that other aspects of your self can provide. When you use only your head, your experience of yourself and the world is more limited.

  • What is your body telling you? When someone yells at you, does your stomach tie up in knots? Do your shoulders stiffen when you’ve been too focused on fulfilling others’ needs and ignoring your own? Notice the insights your body is conveying.
  • Check in with your heart. Your heart is the home of what is most alive in you. What does your heart have to say about your profession? About how you spend your days? Does it need more play time? According to your heart, what really matters?
  • Listen to your intuition, your “gut.” Your intuition speaks volumes, but often gets ignored. What is this form of your deepest wisdom saying right now?

Appreciate what’s already working. Acknowledge and give thanks for the gifts and the beauty and the miracles that are in your life right now. Write them down.

Tell the truth. Now is the time to start being honest about who you really are and what you desire. Encouraging the unlived parts of yourself to emerge can provide an exhilarating sense of hope, possibilities and empowerment for the New Year and beyond.

Author’s content adapted under license, © 2008 Claire Communications

 

FREE Coaching Opportunity
($250 VALUE)

If someone offered you a precious gift for an hour of your time, would you be interested? That’s what I offer with a Complimentary Coaching Session. A comp session isn’t a brief demo or sample. It’s a full 45-minute coaching session focused on current real life challenges of your choosing plus 15 minutes to discuss your experience and any questions you may have about my approach to coaching.

There is no expectation or pressure to hire me as your ongoing coach. Providing meaningful, substantive comp sessions with no obligation is one of the ways I demonstrate gratitude and give back to the Universe a small portion of the abundance and opportunity it bestows on me daily.

The real value of a comp session? PRICELESS! 

Those who have experienced comp sessions will tell you, when you come to your session open to the possibilities for transformation and fully committed to your own growth, big breakthroughs can happen!

FREE Coaching Session

What clients say about
the power of coaching with Deborah 

“I knew Deborah before she became a Professional Life Coach. I’ve been amazed at how she has changed her life. When I decided it was time to begin making decisions about the next phase of my life, I knew immediately that Deborah was the person I wanted to work with. Her personal and professional experiences help her guide clients through coaching in a way that is individualized and delightfully eye-opening. Her warmth and sensitivity are immediately apparent, even over the phone. With gentle encouragement and permission, she will guide you through an examination of your life, including difficult experiences. She will help you gain insight from your past choices and then explore possibilities for moving forward in less encumbered ways. When you work with Deborah, your life will take on new meaning and your potential will be limitless!” Chris

“The work I did with Deborah continues to change my life. While I have learned many valuable lessons from her, the greatest was the deep insight that is available to me when I listen to and learn from my own inner wisdom. Her intuition, discernment and encouragement have taught me to trust my own intuition—creating new paths and possibilities for my life. One of Deborah’s great gifts is helping others respect and connect with their inner guidance and through that connection, to form a deeper, more meaningful bond with the collective wisdom and energy of all.” Ryan

Click here to sign up for a 60-minute
complimentary coaching session with Deborah.

 

What readers say about
the impact of Deborah’s book

“With the same energy and determination she applied in the professional world, Deborah has taken her considerable expertise in human potential and has now set her sights on the largest co-op in the world, humanity. ‘Choose Your Energy, Change Your Life!’ tackles what I believe are the most important questions we each must ask: who am I, where did I come from, why am I here, and what’s love got to do with it (cue Tina Turner)? These are not trivial or philosophical questions for the answers change what we do, why we do it, who and what we love. I am grateful for the opportunity to walk with Deborah on this critical journey.” JD Messenger, Award Winning Author of “11 Days in May: The Conversation That Will Change Your Life”

“To me the great thing about Deborah’s book is how ‘accessible’ she makes the ideas. The Oxygen Mask is probably the single best example. As with so many of the ideas in the book, she explains the principle in such a simple way that it’s got universal application to virtually any reader. I can imagine people having multiple moments of ‘Oh….I get it!’ throughout the book. The stories from her own life as well as stories of her clients’ experiences become stories about all of us—stories about which the reader will think, ‘I am living my own version of this.’ Well done—bravo!” Joe Calloway, Author of “Be The Best At What Matters Most”

Click here to explore Deborah’s book.

Explore Deborah's Book

© Copyright 2016 DJW Life Coach LLC. All rights reserved.
Posted in All My Blog Posts, Authenticity & Purpose | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Self-Care: The Love of Your Life IS YOU!

“Need someone to work extra days? Ask me. Someone who’ll clean up the place because we’ve scheduled an open house? Sure. I’ll even bring the cleaning supplies. Need someone to babysit your kids while you go away for a weekend? I’ll do it. Stay late? Cook extra? Loan money? Run an errand? Give up my bed, my book, my best outfit? You bet.”

“This was my life,” said Sharon, age 42. “I thought I had to do anything and everything people asked. Even if they didn’t ask, I’d find ways to accommodate them. And if I couldn’t, I felt guilty.”

Sharon was an expert, no-holds-barred, genuine “accommodater.” Somewhere along the line, she learned that her needs weren’t important. In fact, she had been accommodating others for so long and doing it so well, she didn’t even know what her needs were.

What she did know was that she was unhappy, sometimes became angry and almost always felt guilty. She realized she allowed—even invited—people to use her, but she didn’t know how to do otherwise.

“To me, self-care had something to do with giving myself breast exams,” she said. “If someone mentioned boundaries, I thought they meant property lines.”

“Self-care is an attitude toward ourselves and our lives that says, I am responsible for myself,” wrote Melody Beattie, author of Codependent No More. “Self-care isn’t narcissistic or indulgent. Self-care is the one thing I can do that most helps me and others too.”

Commitment to self-care won’t make you appear egomaniacal, cold or dispassionate. It means demonstrating love, respect, curiosity, compassion and gratitude for every aspect of yourself and your journey. Self-care involves discovering and appreciating that the love of your life is YOU!

I AM MY OWN BELOVED CHILD!

The funny thing is that those who learn to fall in love with themselves are actually less likely to behave selfishly. Their joy and peace are contagious. They show up in their families, workplaces and friendships with a spring in their step and a zest for living that carries them, and those around them, forward in new and exciting directions.

Practicing self-care starts with perpetual mindfulness in which I continually ask myself, “What does unconditional self-love look like in THIS moment?”

“If I cherished myself as
MY OWN BELOVED CHILD,
how would I take care of myself
RIGHT NOW?”

While self-care sometimes involves spending money on yourself through enticing gifts and pleasurable activities, the most meaningful forms of self-care require investing your attention and energy in other ways.

Maybe your life would be happier and more fulfilling if you applied mindfulness, imagination, discernment and discipline to take care of an overdue responsibility or change to some healthier behaviors. Just becoming comfortable and skilled at saying “no” might be the hardest—and most valuable—thing you could do for yourself.

Practicing self-care means becoming your own best friend, confidante and advisor. Here’s one of my favorite personal affirmations in this regard.

I AM MY OWN BEST FRIEND
No matter what, I am mindful, loyal, respectful, encouraging, kind, loving, honest and appreciative
of all I think, feel, say, do, desire and experience.

Here are some additional tips for strengthening your self-care instincts and muscles.

  • Nourish yourself. Nurture, encourage and delight yourself in healthy ways.
  • Set and honor healthy boundaries. This is what I will or won’t do. This is how far I will or won’t go. This is what I will or won’t allow. And remember to recognize and respect others’ boundaries as well.
  • Take care of yourself physically. Make nutritious meals—of optimal quality and quantity—and reasonable, regular exercise your norm. Listen to your body and practice preventive health care.
  • Have fun. You’ll feel better physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually if you include lots of laughter and play in your life.
  • Recharge your battery. You’ll be wiser and more resilient if you invest in ample time for rest and reflection.
  • Foster uplifting relationships. Spend your time with people who are kind, loving, honest and appreciative. Exchange help, compliments, hugs and love.
  • Engage an ally. Seek support from a compassionate spiritual director, coach, therapist, friend or family member.
Author’s content adapted under license, © 2008 Claire Communications

 

FREE Coaching Opportunity
($250 VALUE)

If someone offered you a precious gift for an hour of your time, would you be interested? That’s what I offer with a Complimentary Coaching Session. A comp session isn’t a brief demo or sample. It’s a full 45-minute coaching session focused on current real life challenges of your choosing plus 15 minutes to discuss your experience and any questions you may have about my approach to coaching.

There is no expectation or pressure to hire me as your ongoing coach. Providing meaningful, substantive comp sessions with no obligation is one of the ways I demonstrate gratitude and give back to the Universe a small portion of the abundance and opportunity it bestows on me daily.

The real value of a comp session? PRICELESS! 

Those who have experienced comp sessions will tell you, when you come to your session open to the possibilities for transformation and fully committed to your own growth, big breakthroughs can happen!

FREE Coaching Session

What clients say about
the power of coaching with Deborah 

“I knew Deborah before she became a Professional Life Coach. I’ve been amazed at how she has changed her life. When I decided it was time to begin making decisions about the next phase of my life, I knew immediately that Deborah was the person I wanted to work with. Her personal and professional experiences help her guide clients through coaching in a way that is individualized and delightfully eye-opening. Her warmth and sensitivity are immediately apparent, even over the phone. With gentle encouragement and permission, she will guide you through an examination of your life, including difficult experiences. She will help you gain insight from your past choices and then explore possibilities for moving forward in less encumbered ways. When you work with Deborah, your life will take on new meaning and your potential will be limitless!” Chris

“The work I did with Deborah continues to change my life. While I have learned many valuable lessons from her, the greatest was the deep insight that is available to me when I listen to and learn from my own inner wisdom. Her intuition, discernment and encouragement have taught me to trust my own intuition—creating new paths and possibilities for my life. One of Deborah’s great gifts is helping others respect and connect with their inner guidance and through that connection, to form a deeper, more meaningful bond with the collective wisdom and energy of all.” Ryan

Click here to sign up for a 60-minute
complimentary coaching session with Deborah.

 

What readers say about
the impact of Deborah’s book

“With the same energy and determination she applied in the professional world, Deborah has taken her considerable expertise in human potential and has now set her sights on the largest co-op in the world, humanity. ‘Choose Your Energy, Change Your Life!’ tackles what I believe are the most important questions we each must ask: who am I, where did I come from, why am I here, and what’s love got to do with it (cue Tina Turner)? These are not trivial or philosophical questions for the answers change what we do, why we do it, who and what we love. I am grateful for the opportunity to walk with Deborah on this critical journey.” JD Messenger, Award Winning Author of “11 Days in May: The Conversation That Will Change Your Life”

“To me the great thing about Deborah’s book is how ‘accessible’ she makes the ideas. The Oxygen Mask is probably the single best example. As with so many of the ideas in the book, she explains the principle in such a simple way that it’s got universal application to virtually any reader. I can imagine people having multiple moments of ‘Oh….I get it!’ throughout the book. The stories from her own life as well as stories of her clients’ experiences become stories about all of us—stories about which the reader will think, ‘I am living my own version of this.’ Well done—bravo!” Joe Calloway, Author of “Be The Best At What Matters Most”

Click here to explore Deborah’s book.

Explore Deborah's Book

© Copyright 2016 DJW Life Coach LLC. All rights reserved.
Posted in All My Blog Posts, Love, Fear & Gremlins | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Ten Actions That Say “I Love You”

The saying, “Words are cheap, actions speak,” is never more true than when applied to the words “I love you.” Whether spoken to a romantic partner, your children or other family members, if the actions aren’t there to back up the loving words, the words mean nothing.

On my journey to wholeness, I sought clarity on the true meaning of unconditional love and identified four core attributes: respect, curiosity, compassion and gratitude.

This holiday season, instead of just buying your loved ones more stuff, consider including one or more gifts that DEMONSTRATE the depth of your love for them. To get you started, here are ten concrete, meaningful actions that say “I love you.” There are thousands more. See how creative you can be in coming up with your own ideas.

  1. Greet them with a big smile, a hug and a kiss.
  1. Really listen to what they are saying. Don’t just keep quiet to reload; give them your undivided and undistracted attention.
  1. Support each other through tough times.
  1. Do simple, random acts of kindness, such as massaging shoulders or feet, cooking a favorite meal, running a bath, taking out the trash (without being asked).
  1. Spend one-on-one time with your loved ones, with no particular agenda.
  1. Commit to truly accepting each other’s faults and appreciating each other’s gifts.
  1. Come home on time and sober.
  1. Be impeccable with your word. Do not use it to injure or deceive. Be kind and if you say you’ll do something, do it when and how you promised.
  1. Take responsibility for your part in any conflict, and then look at how you can do better next time. Step out of the blame game.
  1. Explore your deepest experiences, thoughts and feelings together. This precious gift deepens intimacy by fostering trust.
Author’s content adapted under license, © 2008 Claire Communications

 

FREE Coaching Opportunity
($250 VALUE)

If someone offered you a precious gift for an hour of your time, would you be interested? That’s what I offer with a Complimentary Coaching Session. A comp session isn’t a brief demo or sample. It’s a full 45-minute coaching session focused on current real life challenges of your choosing plus 15 minutes to discuss your experience and any questions you may have about my approach to coaching.

There is no expectation or pressure to hire me as your ongoing coach. Providing meaningful, substantive comp sessions with no obligation is one of the ways I demonstrate gratitude and give back to the Universe a small portion of the abundance and opportunity it bestows on me daily.

The real value of a comp session? PRICELESS! 

Those who have experienced comp sessions will tell you, when you come to your session open to the possibilities for transformation and fully committed to your own growth, big breakthroughs can happen!

FREE Coaching Session

What clients say about
the power of coaching with Deborah 

“I knew Deborah before she became a Professional Life Coach. I’ve been amazed at how she has changed her life. When I decided it was time to begin making decisions about the next phase of my life, I knew immediately that Deborah was the person I wanted to work with. Her personal and professional experiences help her guide clients through coaching in a way that is individualized and delightfully eye-opening. Her warmth and sensitivity are immediately apparent, even over the phone. With gentle encouragement and permission, she will guide you through an examination of your life, including difficult experiences. She will help you gain insight from your past choices and then explore possibilities for moving forward in less encumbered ways. When you work with Deborah, your life will take on new meaning and your potential will be limitless!” Chris

“The work I did with Deborah continues to change my life. While I have learned many valuable lessons from her, the greatest was the deep insight that is available to me when I listen to and learn from my own inner wisdom. Her intuition, discernment and encouragement have taught me to trust my own intuition—creating new paths and possibilities for my life. One of Deborah’s great gifts is helping others respect and connect with their inner guidance and through that connection, to form a deeper, more meaningful bond with the collective wisdom and energy of all.” Ryan

Click here to sign up for a 60-minute
complimentary coaching session with Deborah.

 

What readers say about
the impact of Deborah’s book

“With the same energy and determination she applied in the professional world, Deborah has taken her considerable expertise in human potential and has now set her sights on the largest co-op in the world, humanity. ‘Choose Your Energy, Change Your Life!’ tackles what I believe are the most important questions we each must ask: who am I, where did I come from, why am I here, and what’s love got to do with it (cue Tina Turner)? These are not trivial or philosophical questions for the answers change what we do, why we do it, who and what we love. I am grateful for the opportunity to walk with Deborah on this critical journey.” JD Messenger, Award Winning Author of “11 Days in May: The Conversation That Will Change Your Life”

“To me the great thing about Deborah’s book is how ‘accessible’ she makes the ideas. The Oxygen Mask is probably the single best example. As with so many of the ideas in the book, she explains the principle in such a simple way that it’s got universal application to virtually any reader. I can imagine people having multiple moments of ‘Oh….I get it!’ throughout the book. The stories from her own life as well as stories of her clients’ experiences become stories about all of us—stories about which the reader will think, ‘I am living my own version of this.’ Well done—bravo!” Joe Calloway, Author of “Be The Best At What Matters Most”

Click here to explore Deborah’s book.

Explore Deborah's Book

© Copyright 2016 DJW Life Coach LLC. All rights reserved.
Posted in All My Blog Posts, Love, Fear & Gremlins | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

How Music Soothes Stress

Most people have experienced the relaxing effect of music—from the soft strains of a flute playing in the background during a massage, to tuning out the world with your headphones during a grueling commute on public transit.

With hectic schedules, busy families, financial pressures and life’s many complications, stress can permeate every aspect of daily living. Whether you’re experiencing more persistent stress thanks to the holidays or just looking to enjoy the many health benefits of increased relaxation, music can play an important role. It has the power to engage the body, mind and spirit and carry you into a more relaxed state.

How Music Soothes Stress

The Mind

Listening to music may evoke memories, images or scenes. This is how music soundtracks help “tell” the story of a movie. We can all intentionally create soundtracks for our lives. Music therapist Jennifer Buchanan guides us in doing just that in her book, Tune In: Use Music Intentionally to Curb Stress, Boost Morale and Restore Health.

Buchanan says that by choosing to listen to music that you associate with calming memories, images or scenes, you can distract yourself from the negative thoughts that are worrying you. Music can also help engage your creative, problem-solving mind so that you can come up with constructive solutions for the worrisome situation.

The Body

Purposefully chosen music can also evoke the pleasant physical sensations of actually being in those scenarios. Whether you’re lying down and listening to a slow-paced symphony, or letting loose on the dance floor to a loud, thumping beat, music can give you a physical release from stress.

The Spirit

Attending a concert, creating live music with a group of people or even singing along with the radio can help you to feel connected to a world outside yourself and even to a deeper spiritual presence. Indeed, music has a major role in most of the world’s religions.

Music Therapy

Although the use of music as a healing modality dates back to the writings of Aristotle, music therapy was first identified as a profession following World War I when it was used with veterans who had a variety of issues, including post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). In Tune In, Jennifer Buchanan shares the story of her first meeting with a music therapy client suffering from PTSD.

Before they met, her client had closed himself off from the world and spent most of his time in his room. When he first met Jennifer and listened as she sang familiar songs (just one of the many ways that music therapists use music to enhance the health and well-being of their clients), the experience brought a spark of life back into his eyes.

Soon, he was expressing that aliveness in other ways, by expanding his activities and more closely interacting with the people around him.

When it comes to relieving stress, Buchanan says that it’s not the speed of music that is the key—for some people, it is fast music that is relaxing—but finding your own personalized music prescription for stress. She suggests that you first identify which style, speed, instrument or voice seems to soothe you.

Choose a piece of music that has those qualities, and then spend 20 minutes immersing yourself in the relaxing power of music with this exercise.

  1. Find a comfortable place to sit or lie down near the speakers or wear a comfortable pair of earphones.
  2. Turn on the music, ensuring that the volume is high enough to capture your attention but not so high it will damage your eardrums.
  3. Take a few minutes to observe your breathing, shifting your mind from the external to the internal.
  4. Turn your focus entirely to the music and hold it there. Follow the melody, or pay attention to the pauses in the music. If you find yourself drifting away, gently bring yourself back to the sound.

Repeat often for a long-lasting effect.

Research suggests that your mood will improve and your stress will be greatly reduced by listening to music intentionally.

Author’s content adapted under license, © 2015 Claire Communications

 

FREE Coaching Opportunity
($250 VALUE)

If someone offered you a precious gift for an hour of your time, would you be interested? That’s what I offer with a Complimentary Coaching Session. A comp session isn’t a brief demo or sample. It’s a full 45-minute coaching session focused on current real life challenges of your choosing plus 15 minutes to discuss your experience and any questions you may have about my approach to coaching.

There is no expectation or pressure to hire me as your ongoing coach. Providing meaningful, substantive comp sessions with no obligation is one of the ways I demonstrate gratitude and give back to the Universe a small portion of the abundance and opportunity it bestows on me daily.

The real value of a comp session? PRICELESS! 

Those who have experienced comp sessions will tell you, when you come to your session open to the possibilities for transformation and fully committed to your own growth, big breakthroughs can happen!

FREE Coaching Session

What clients say about
the power of coaching with Deborah 

“I knew Deborah before she became a Professional Life Coach. I’ve been amazed at how she has changed her life. When I decided it was time to begin making decisions about the next phase of my life, I knew immediately that Deborah was the person I wanted to work with. Her personal and professional experiences help her guide clients through coaching in a way that is individualized and delightfully eye-opening. Her warmth and sensitivity are immediately apparent, even over the phone. With gentle encouragement and permission, she will guide you through an examination of your life, including difficult experiences. She will help you gain insight from your past choices and then explore possibilities for moving forward in less encumbered ways. When you work with Deborah, your life will take on new meaning and your potential will be limitless!” Chris

“The work I did with Deborah continues to change my life. While I have learned many valuable lessons from her, the greatest was the deep insight that is available to me when I listen to and learn from my own inner wisdom. Her intuition, discernment and encouragement have taught me to trust my own intuition—creating new paths and possibilities for my life. One of Deborah’s great gifts is helping others respect and connect with their inner guidance and through that connection, to form a deeper, more meaningful bond with the collective wisdom and energy of all.” Ryan

Click here to sign up for a 60-minute
complimentary coaching session with Deborah.

 

What readers say about
the impact of Deborah’s book

“With the same energy and determination she applied in the professional world, Deborah has taken her considerable expertise in human potential and has now set her sights on the largest co-op in the world, humanity. ‘Choose Your Energy, Change Your Life!’ tackles what I believe are the most important questions we each must ask: who am I, where did I come from, why am I here, and what’s love got to do with it (cue Tina Turner)? These are not trivial or philosophical questions for the answers change what we do, why we do it, who and what we love. I am grateful for the opportunity to walk with Deborah on this critical journey.” JD Messenger, Award Winning Author of “11 Days in May: The Conversation That Will Change Your Life”

“To me the great thing about Deborah’s book is how ‘accessible’ she makes the ideas. The Oxygen Mask is probably the single best example. As with so many of the ideas in the book, she explains the principle in such a simple way that it’s got universal application to virtually any reader. I can imagine people having multiple moments of ‘Oh….I get it!’ throughout the book. The stories from her own life as well as stories of her clients’ experiences become stories about all of us—stories about which the reader will think, ‘I am living my own version of this.’ Well done—bravo!” Joe Calloway, Author of “Be The Best At What Matters Most”

Click here to explore Deborah’s book.

Explore Deborah's Book

© Copyright 2016 DJW Life Coach LLC. All rights reserved.
Posted in All My Blog Posts, Joy & Vitality, Mindfulness, Meditation & Peace, Stress, Perfectionism & Burnout | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Top 10 Ways to Have the Best Holidays Ever

IT’S OFFICIAL:
THE HOLIDAY SEASON
IS UPON US ONCE AGAIN!

Dare we hope that this one will be truly magical? Not if we let ourselves get bogged down in overdoing, overwhelm and other all-too-familiar stress-inducing patterns.

Choose Your Energy: Change Your Life!

Here are 10 ways to nurture, encourage and delight yourself—and others—this holiday season by choosing to fuel yourself with constructive core energy grounded in love, respect, curiosity, compassion and gratitude. You’re worth the effort.

Make conscious decisions.

Get clear about what you really want to do over the holidays before compromising with others. If you don’t have a clear plan and clear intentions, you might find yourself getting unwittingly swept along by others’ desires. It’s important to get clear up front on what matters to you and why, so you’ll fully understand the ramifications should you decide to compromise nonetheless.

Take good care of yourself.

The old standards help keep stress at bay: eat healthfully, exercise, drink lots of water and breathe deeply. Schedule time for relaxation and fun.

Start early.

To avoid a last-minute frenzy, start shopping and making presents now.

Ask for help.

Reject any glamorous notion of martyrdom. The burden of preparations should not fall upon one person. The more specific you are in your request for help, the more likely you are to get assistance that will actually prove helpful.

Give yourself a break.

Excellence can be grand but perfection—even perfect happiness—just isn’t possible. Perfection is fueled by fear; excellence is fueled by love. Let your loving best—and everyone else’s—be good enough. Make a budget for your investment of time and money—and stick to it. It really is the thought that counts.

Shorten your to-do list.

Keep the essentials and what has deep meaning for you. Ditch everything else.

Say no when you want to.

IT’S SOOOOOOOO LIBERATING! Try it and see. Too often we let a sense of obligation (FEAR FUELED) trump our deepest desires (LOVE FUELED). When faced with options, choose the one that will make you feel lighter and happier.

Limit obligatory activities.

If you can’t avoid certain events, limit the time you’re there.

Establish new traditions.

Consider doing something you’ve never done before over the holidays, such as travel to another country or take a cruise.

Get support if you’re feeling blue.

If a glorious holiday season feels completely out of reach, don’t beat yourself up for feeling that way. Seek support from a compassionate spiritual director, coach, therapist, friend or family member.

Author’s content adapted under license, © 2011 Claire Communications

 

FREE Coaching Opportunity
($250 VALUE)

If someone offered you a precious gift for an hour of your time, would you be interested? That’s what I offer with a Complimentary Coaching Session. A comp session isn’t a brief demo or sample. It’s a full 45-minute coaching session focused on current real life challenges of your choosing plus 15 minutes to discuss your experience and any questions you may have about my approach to coaching.

There is no expectation or pressure to hire me as your ongoing coach. Providing meaningful, substantive comp sessions with no obligation is one of the ways I demonstrate gratitude and give back to the Universe a small portion of the abundance and opportunity it bestows on me daily.

The real value of a comp session? PRICELESS! 

Those who have experienced comp sessions will tell you, when you come to your session open to the possibilities for transformation and fully committed to your own growth, big breakthroughs can happen!

FREE Coaching Session

What clients say about
the power of coaching with Deborah 

“I knew Deborah before she became a Professional Life Coach. I’ve been amazed at how she has changed her life. When I decided it was time to begin making decisions about the next phase of my life, I knew immediately that Deborah was the person I wanted to work with. Her personal and professional experiences help her guide clients through coaching in a way that is individualized and delightfully eye-opening. Her warmth and sensitivity are immediately apparent, even over the phone. With gentle encouragement and permission, she will guide you through an examination of your life, including difficult experiences. She will help you gain insight from your past choices and then explore possibilities for moving forward in less encumbered ways. When you work with Deborah, your life will take on new meaning and your potential will be limitless!” Chris

“The work I did with Deborah continues to change my life. While I have learned many valuable lessons from her, the greatest was the deep insight that is available to me when I listen to and learn from my own inner wisdom. Her intuition, discernment and encouragement have taught me to trust my own intuition—creating new paths and possibilities for my life. One of Deborah’s great gifts is helping others respect and connect with their inner guidance and through that connection, to form a deeper, more meaningful bond with the collective wisdom and energy of all.” Ryan

Click here to sign up for a 60-minute
complimentary coaching session with Deborah.

 

What readers say about
the impact of Deborah’s book

“With the same energy and determination she applied in the professional world, Deborah has taken her considerable expertise in human potential and has now set her sights on the largest co-op in the world, humanity. ‘Choose Your Energy, Change Your Life!’ tackles what I believe are the most important questions we each must ask: who am I, where did I come from, why am I here, and what’s love got to do with it (cue Tina Turner)? These are not trivial or philosophical questions for the answers change what we do, why we do it, who and what we love. I am grateful for the opportunity to walk with Deborah on this critical journey.” JD Messenger, Award Winning Author of “11 Days in May: The Conversation That Will Change Your Life”

“To me the great thing about Deborah’s book is how ‘accessible’ she makes the ideas. The Oxygen Mask is probably the single best example. As with so many of the ideas in the book, she explains the principle in such a simple way that it’s got universal application to virtually any reader. I can imagine people having multiple moments of ‘Oh….I get it!’ throughout the book. The stories from her own life as well as stories of her clients’ experiences become stories about all of us—stories about which the reader will think, ‘I am living my own version of this.’ Well done—bravo!” Joe Calloway, Author of “Be The Best At What Matters Most”

Click here to explore Deborah’s book.

Explore Deborah's Book

© Copyright 2016 DJW Life Coach LLC. All rights reserved.
Posted in All My Blog Posts, Joy & Vitality, Mindfulness, Meditation & Peace, Stress, Perfectionism & Burnout | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment