Category Archives: Relationships, Boundaries & Belonging

Healthy boundaries are not about separation; they are about creating an environment that fosters constructive core energy. One of the greatest gifts we give others is not choosing to love them; it is having the generosity and courage to allow them to love us. Relationships are not for the naïve or faint of heart. There’s a reason I cover this inner sense last. Relationships are the doctoral program of life lessons. Just when we think we’re starting to get the hang of living from unconditional self-love, the Universe raises the bar and sends us relationships. Relationships offer the opportunity to recognize and transform any and all vestiges of unexamined fear within ourselves, thereby becoming even clearer channels for love and light at all times and in all situations. They are, in the words of George Frideric Handel’s Messiah, “the refiner’s fire.” Intimate relationships are loving mirrors. The adage of opposites attracting is based in part on the idea that we seek in our companions a way to complete the underdeveloped or unappreciated parts of ourselves. Now there is a formula for friction! You can choose to walk around feeling annoyed and put upon most of the time or, like the oyster, choose to embrace the irritant and set your intention to create a pearl. It’s up to you. You are the decider; what will you do with your precious gift of life? How might you find greater joy in your relationships if you weren’t so attached to tolerating them with resentment?

Ten Ways to Love Fearlessly

Let’s face it, love can be messy and confusing. With its magnified highs and lows, love can be unpredictable and often not we expected—so much so that we might be tempted to cower in fear. But if we approach love … Continue reading

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Relationships: The Doctoral Program of Life Lessons

Last Monday, I so resonated to Mike Dooley’s daily “Notes From the Universe,” I postponed the blog post I had prepared for today, to share this one instead. To set the stage for today’s insights, here’s the note I received from Mike, … Continue reading

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The Science of Hugs: Nature’s Tranquility Booster

Scientists, doctors and moms tell us that we should receive at least three hugs a day. While we may know that the perfect hug, delivered at the optimal time by the right person (or anytime by anyone, if you’re a … Continue reading

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Here’s Looking at You, Kid!

Ever get discouraged and feel like you just can’t count on others? You’re not alone. It’s very common for us to look outside ourselves for approval, acceptance and love. It’s equally common to discover that what we seek can’t be … Continue reading

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Listen Up

By Guest Blogger Kate Steinbacher of Coaches Console “We have two ears and one mouth to let us know that we should listen twice as much as we speak.” -Anonymous One of the most important skills to develop in life is … Continue reading

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Embrace the New Year With Joy

Looking for a fresh start this New Year? Get unstuck, reclaim your personal power and recapture your zest for living. While you’re at it, share the joy with friends and family. My book, Choose Your Energy: Change Your Life (Hay House/Balboa … Continue reading

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R-E-S-P-E-C-T: Found Out What It Means To Me

An excerpt from Choose Your Energy: Change Your Life! by Deborah Jane Wells (Hay House/Balboa Press 2013) Unconditional self-respect is one of the keys to declaring your independence from stress and discovering a life of generous, effortless, gracious flow filled with faith, … Continue reading

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