Self-confidence comes from recognizing and appreciating your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual talents, skills and abilities. Self-confidence is fueled by a healthy sense of self-esteem grounded in awareness of and unconditional love for every aspect of yourself.
People who are confident
share these important characteristics
C = CAPABLE
Confident people are capable. They know they are good enough, competent and can handle life’s situations.
Being capable also means recognizing when you can’t handle a situation on your own and being willing and able to find the necessary help, information or skill.
Knowing you are your greatest resource protects you from stress. Believing you are capable means that whatever the task, you will handle it with or without help. By believing in yourself, you face life with complete assurance.
O = OWN IT
Confident people own their thoughts, feelings, priorities, choices, emotions, words, reactions and actions. The buck stops here: no excuses necessary.
N = NURTURE THEMSELVES
Confident people believe in their value and worth. They know they are worth the time, money and energy required to nurture and support themselves in growth and fulfillment.
This could look like taking a class to learn something new just for the joy of it, making good nutrition and exercise priorities, providing quiet time to re-energize and rejuvenate or pampering themselves with a massage or manicure.
F = FULLY PRESENT
Confident people engage in the present moment. They are not distracted by past or future events or obsessed with the impression they are making.
Practice being fully present in each of life’s activities, big and small, whether you are alone or with others. When you brush your teeth, focus on brushing your teeth. When you empty the dishwasher, focus on putting the dishes away. When you are with a friend, pay close attention and avoid the all-too-common habit of listening merely to reload with what you want to say next.
I = INTEGRITY
Confident people are true to themselves. They live in alignment with their principles and perspectives, despite what others think, say or do.
D = DEMEANOR
People with confidence have a powerful physical presence. It shows in their posture, body language, eye contact and dress.
When you look confident, people will treat you accordingly which will further boost your confidence.
E = ENDURE
Confident people don’t give up. They take risks knowing they will sometimes fall short of their goals.
If everything always works out exactly as you intend, it may be that you are living so cautiously that you are stunting your ability to learn and grow. Remember: there are no mistakes or failures, only things that didn’t work out as you planned in the way and time you expected.
Because confident people know that everything is an opportunity, they choose to live in a state of curiosity rather than counterproductive shame and blame.
N = NOT ARROGANT
Confident people are not arrogant. Arrogance is an attempt to mask low self-esteem and fears of scarcity. It undermines interpersonal relationships. For people who are really confident, the focus is never on being superior to others or hogging the limelight.
Confident people lift others up. They give others credit, encourage every bit of progress, praise efforts readily and applaud results sincerely.
T = TAKE ACTION
Confident people take action. They don’t indulge in endless analysis and talk. They don’t allow fear to paralyze them. They act, assess results, adjust their course and act again until they cross the goal line or realize along the way that a different objective is preferable and attainable.
The more we take action and learn to adjust on the fly, the more confident we become. We try, we tweak, we try again and we succeed. Each success fuels even greater confidence and success. Before you know it, this healthy habit is a rewarding way of life.
Confidence Builder and Path Finder:
“Who Am I and Why Am I Here?”
Just as every snowflake is one-of-a-kind, there is no one else who is exactly like you. No one else has your specific blend of strengths and quirks. No one else feels exactly as you do in every situation. No one else sees everything as you do. No one has had the same precise mix of experiences. You are a unique cocreative expression of the divine.
Want to boost your self-confidence? Learn to embrace and appreciate every aspect of yourself and your journey in each moment—the ups and downs, the twists and turns, the traits that thrill you and those that frustrate you and everyone who knows you.
Demonstrate unconditional love for yourself by always nurturing, encouraging and delighting yourself in healthy ways—NO MATTER WHAT. Respect every decision by appreciating that you are always doing the best you can with the love and light you have at the time. Honor every leg of your journey by remembering that the highest good is always unfolding for all, in all, through all.
To help you get better at loving yourself and recognizing your authentic path in every minute, complete the following statements with as many examples as possible.
I am…
I would like to…
I never want to…
People can count on me for…
People notice that I…
People never notice that I…
I am at my best when…
I am at my worst when…
When I am at my worst, I am…
When I am at my best, I am…
The best thing that could happen to me is…
The worst thing that could happen to me is…
I am very happy that I…
I get lost in time when I…
My favorite activities are…
My least favorite activities are…
I look forward to…
I dread…
I am passionate about…
I am bored by…
I am good at…
I am not good at…
I wish others knew I..
I don’t want others to know I…
I am happiest when…
I am most unhappy when…
I am proud that I…
I am ashamed that I…
When I am proud of myself, I…
When I am ashamed of myself, I…
If I had endless time, I would…
If I had mountains of money, I would…
If I had loads of talent, I would…
If I weren’t too young, I would…
If I weren’t too old, I would…
If I didn’t care what anyone else thought, I would…
If I knew I couldn’t fail, I would…
If I knew I could make a living at it, I would…
If I didn’t need to make any money at it, I would…
If I didn’t care what anyone else thought, I would…
To gain even deeper insights about your authentic life passions, purpose and path, repeat this exercise periodically and notice how your answers are evolving.
And if you find you’d appreciate having a professional partner and guide in learning to love yourself unconditionally, discovering your purpose and living your authentic life, check out the FREE coaching and book offers below.
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If someone offered you a precious gift for an hour of your time, would you be interested? That’s what I offer with a Complimentary Coaching Session. A comp session isn’t a brief demo or sample. It’s a full 45-minute coaching session focused on current real life challenges of your choosing plus 15 minutes to discuss your experience and any questions you may have about my approach to coaching.
There is no expectation or pressure to hire me as your ongoing coach. Providing meaningful, substantive comp sessions with no obligation is one of the ways I demonstrate gratitude and give back to the Universe a small portion of the abundance and opportunity it bestows on me daily.
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Those who have experienced comp sessions will tell you, when you come to your session open to the possibilities for transformation and fully committed to your own growth, big breakthroughs can happen!
What clients say about
the power of coaching with Deborah
“I knew Deborah before she became a Professional Life Coach. I’ve been amazed at how she has changed her life. When I decided it was time to begin making decisions about the next phase of my life, I knew immediately that Deborah was the person I wanted to work with. Her personal and professional experiences help her guide clients through coaching in a way that is individualized and delightfully eye-opening. Her warmth and sensitivity are immediately apparent, even over the phone. With gentle encouragement and permission, she will guide you through an examination of your life, including difficult experiences. She will help you gain insight from your past choices and then explore possibilities for moving forward in less encumbered ways. When you work with Deborah, your life will take on new meaning and your potential will be limitless!” Chris
“The work I did with Deborah continues to change my life. While I have learned many valuable lessons from her, the greatest was the deep insight that is available to me when I listen to and learn from my own inner wisdom. Her intuition, discernment and encouragement have taught me to trust my own intuition—creating new paths and possibilities for my life. One of Deborah’s great gifts is helping others respect and connect with their inner guidance and through that connection, to form a deeper, more meaningful bond with the collective wisdom and energy of all.” Ryan
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What readers say about
the impact of Deborah’s book
“With the same energy and determination she applied in the professional world, Deborah has taken her considerable expertise in human potential and has now set her sights on the largest co-op in the world, humanity. ‘Choose Your Energy, Change Your Life!’ tackles what I believe are the most important questions we each must ask: who am I, where did I come from, why am I here, and what’s love got to do with it (cue Tina Turner)? These are not trivial or philosophical questions for the answers change what we do, why we do it, who and what we love. I am grateful for the opportunity to walk with Deborah on this critical journey.” JD Messenger, Award Winning Author of “11 Days in May: The Conversation That Will Change Your Life”
“To me the great thing about Deborah’s book is how ‘accessible’ she makes the ideas. The Oxygen Mask is probably the single best example. As with so many of the ideas in the book, she explains the principle in such a simple way that it’s got universal application to virtually any reader. I can imagine people having multiple moments of ‘Oh….I get it!’ throughout the book. The stories from her own life as well as stories of her clients’ experiences become stories about all of us—stories about which the reader will think, ‘I am living my own version of this.’ Well done—bravo!” Joe Calloway, Author of “Be The Best At What Matters Most”
Choose Your Energy: Change Your Life! 