Even Empowerment Coaches Get the Blues

Sometimes despite all the empowerment principles, tools and techniques I teach and know so well, I can become anxious, frustrated, discouraged or overwhelmed. While I may choose to feel like a victim of circumstances for a time, eventually when I’ve had enough of flopping about in the mud of misery, I remember that I always choose my response to whatever life sends me. When I choose fear, I imprison myself. When I choose love, I set myself free.

I’ve found one of the best ways to prime the pump of self-empowerment is to be the change I wish to see in my world by behaving as if. Want to feel loved? Reach out to every being, encounter and experience with love. Want to feel happy? Smile. Longing for kindness? Try doing a simple kindness for someone in need. You just may find the hope and gratitude you awaken in another will rekindle the flame of hope and gratitude in your own troubled heart.

When You're Down and Troubled

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not advocating denial. Because that which is denied will wreak havoc eventually—especially when it’s fueled by fear. I am advocating self-awareness and, as always, love, respect, curiosity, compassion and gratitude. Because when you plant those seeds, everyone enjoys the fruits and grains of your kindness and generosity for years to come—including YOU.

When you raise the energetic frequency of your interactions with others, you end up doing the same for yourself. 

In every situation, love yourself enough to pay attention to every aspect of your life. Respect everything you are experiencing—what you are thinking, feeling, deciding, saying, and doing. Determine whether the energy underneath is love or fear. If it’s love, you are probably on your authentic path. If it’s fear, demonstrate compassion for yourself. Foster gratitude by reminding yourself that everything is an opportunity. Then further neutralize the fear by bringing curiosity to bear. Explore every aspect of the situation, especially your internal landscape, and identify all of the opportunities available to you through this unique experience. In summary, figure out what you want, understand whether it’s fueled by fear, transform any fear into love, set your intention, and then get ready to receive it, because it will happen. Before you know it, this healthy new habit for managing stress will become your automatic response to every situation.

Well, nearly every situation because, as I shared at the outset, any of us is capable of drifting (or veering) off the path of equanimity into the weeds of rage and despair. Over time, I’ve become really curious about whether there is a common denominator to what circumstances could create a perfect storm for me. While it’s true that getting lax about healthy nutrition, adequate sleep, regular meditation and copious play are often contributors, for me discouragement and despair take control when I forget my core truths.

The first step to escaping my self-imposed prison of misery is to care enough about myself to take action. I transcend my circumstances and begin reclaiming my power by demonstrating curiosity about which aspects of my chosen perspective are out of alignment with my core truths, which I call the Manifestation Mindset:

  • Come as you are—Show up and bring the best I have to offer in this moment. Not last year’s best, or next year’s best or someone else’s best. Just the best I’ve got to offer with the love and light I’m giving myself access to at this time. Quit judging myself as insufficient. I am always enough, just as I am right here and now.
  • Live the Truth—God is God, I am God’s and love is the greatest power in the Universe. My Source is excellent, limitless, and reliable. No external force can block my highest good. Universal abundance flows to and through me. Whatever my circumstances, I know who I am and Whose I am. I am a unique cocreative expression of the Divine. How could that ever not be enough?
  • Commit to the highest good—Universal love is always unfolding the highest good for all, in all, through all. Love, respect, curiosity, and compassion reveal and advance the highest good. My part is to align myself with the highest good by keeping myself free of fear and holding myself wide open as a clear channel for love and light. Way cool!
  • Express gratitude—While feeling grateful is a nice start, don’t stop there. Express it to and for every being, encounter, and experience. Appreciate my life. Know that everything’s an opportunity. Expect it. Go looking for it. Notice it. Say, “Thank you!” Gratitude for Universal abundance fosters generous, effortless, gracious flow filled with faith, hope, prosperity, peace, and joy. And it starts with being grateful for every aspect of myself—the attributes that thrill me and those that frustrate me and everyone who knows me. They are all essential elements of my unique cocreative role in expressing the Divine. I totally rock!
  • Trust God with the details—Resist the urge to over-manage the minutiae and end up trapped in the weeds. Even though I’m bright and creative, that level of specificity is way above my pay grade. Remain focused on my responsibilities (the first four parts of the mindset) and stay tuned to the Universal frequency for further instructions on where to go, what to do, when, and with whom. When I discern, focus, and follow through, the Universe works wonders through me. My job becomes so much easier when I allow God to be God!

If the results of my review indicate there is something significant to explore but I don’t yet feel able to go deeper, I demonstrate respect and compassion by not forcing myself. I relax into exactly where I am on my journey. Caring enough about myself to notice and explore my pessimism plants the seed for emerging insights. Whenever I invest my energy in “wondering why,” I’ve already taken an important step toward recognizing unresolved fear inside me and moving myself forward on my personal journey to wholeness.

Where are you choosing to live out of alignment with your personal truth? What baby step will you take TODAY to lead yourself back to the light? You’re worth the effort.

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© Copyright 2015 DJW Life Coach LLC. All rights reserved.

About djwlifecoach

I am retired from 40+ years of helping individuals and teams build lives and organizations they love. One of the great joys of my retirement from professional practice is having greater bandwidth to donate my professional and creative talents to support and promote animal and social welfare charities. During my 30 years as an organization transformation consultant, I served as a senior partner in four of the world’s largest, most prestigious global professional services firms. In 2005, I took a five-year sabbatical to find healing and peace because non-stop work had taken its toll. My recovery from burnout led to finding my purpose guiding others on their journeys. As a board-certified coach, author, consultant, radio host, Reiki Master and EFT/tapping practitioner, I share hope, possibilities and empowerment with the world. 111419 DJW Sid CH Pet Corner Photo ShootI help clients achieve rapid, extraordinary, sustainable results by connecting who they are with what they do, a connection often lost through stress and the sheer busy-ness of daily life. Courageous self-awareness and unconditional self-love lead to honest choices based on priorities that nurture you and those around you on a journey to wholeness. Decades in coaching, consulting, change management, organization development, human resources and mixed media artistic expression honed my business sense, professionalism, creativity, intuition, leadership and communication skills. The result? Practical tools that help you become more insightful, creative, committed, productive and fulfilled. Even the most dedicated and hard-working individuals can shift from frustration to a sense of futility when their values, passion, work, and lives become disconnected. One of the problems with not taking care of our health is that the effects of ignoring it are often slow to show up. We continue to juggle family responsibilities, work and finances until we lose ourselves, waking up one day 50 pounds heavier in body and soul—no good to ourselves or anyone else. I love working with people who are ready to take life-changing action to make their dreams a reality. At each moment, you have inside you all the wisdom you seek to choose your life and your way of showing up. Limiting thoughts, beliefs and feelings can block you from moving forward. An absence of love and concern for yourself can result in negative head talk that holds you back with discouraging messages about who you are and what you can do. By listening and caring deeply, I guide you in connecting with your own inner wisdom. We identify the way you’d like to live. We determine what’s blocking you and release you from the hold those blocks have over you—unleashing the positive energy that will fuel you forward. Together we develop a plan to move you closer to your heart’s desire. My books, blog, radio show and signature coaching programs help individuals and organizations harness the transformative energy of love to turn unexplored possibilities into fulfilling realities and step into their greatness. What’s love got to do with it? Everything! My book, Choose Your Energy: Change Your Life! (Hay House/ Balboa Press 2013) shares my story and the stories of 10 of my clients along with my signature Discovery Framework. For fun, I love reading, sewing, knitting, yin yoga, afternoon tea, opera and movies. I live in Williamsburg, Virginia with my spouse, Wilson Abney, and the cat who runs our life, Maisy Jane.
This entry was posted in All My Blog Posts, Curiosity, Respect & Compassion, Force, Flow & Baby Steps, Joy & Vitality and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Even Empowerment Coaches Get the Blues

  1. missinic says:

    Hi Deborah! just wanted to drop a note to say how much I LOVE this post.  It, of course, is perfectly timed and I have posted it to my FB page (don’t fall over, yes, I got a facebook page—for work!)  i love you and your guidance is always with me, flowing through me, and streaming out into the world!  Thank you for being you!  Missi HoltWhole * Life * HealthPersonalized Fitness & Nutrition Therapy303/905-3744 * missiholt@yahoo.com

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