Category Archives: Relationships, Boundaries & Belonging

Healthy boundaries are not about separation; they are about creating an environment that fosters constructive core energy. One of the greatest gifts we give others is not choosing to love them; it is having the generosity and courage to allow them to love us. Relationships are not for the naïve or faint of heart. There’s a reason I cover this inner sense last. Relationships are the doctoral program of life lessons. Just when we think we’re starting to get the hang of living from unconditional self-love, the Universe raises the bar and sends us relationships. Relationships offer the opportunity to recognize and transform any and all vestiges of unexamined fear within ourselves, thereby becoming even clearer channels for love and light at all times and in all situations. They are, in the words of George Frideric Handel’s Messiah, “the refiner’s fire.” Intimate relationships are loving mirrors. The adage of opposites attracting is based in part on the idea that we seek in our companions a way to complete the underdeveloped or unappreciated parts of ourselves. Now there is a formula for friction! You can choose to walk around feeling annoyed and put upon most of the time or, like the oyster, choose to embrace the irritant and set your intention to create a pearl. It’s up to you. You are the decider; what will you do with your precious gift of life? How might you find greater joy in your relationships if you weren’t so attached to tolerating them with resentment?