Coping with Post-Holiday Blues

A trail of brown needles leads out to the curb where the Christmas tree, once fragrant and green, lies wilted and dying. Unplugged are the brightly colored lights and, along with the treasured decorations, boxed up and stored away. Gone too, are family and friends. Where so recently nights were filled with gala social gatherings, the only thing left on many to-do lists is return gifts and mop up.

To top it off, in many parts of the country dreary, gray days lengthen into cold, dark nights.

No wonder so many people find themselves at a loss once the holiday season is over. The post-holiday blues—feelings of sadness, disappointment and depression—are not at all uncommon this time of year.

Coping with Post-Holiday BluesAs the name implies, these blues are seasonal and are likely to disappear as the routine of daily life sets in again and things get back to normal. But the symptoms are real and can make a return to that ordinary rhythm hard to come by.

Symptoms of the post-holiday blues can include feelings of fatigue or lethargy, an increased need for sleep, a lack of interest in activities and a sense of loss or sadness. Here are some things you can can do to help you get through this time:

  • Extend the time of giving by continuing to be generous. With so many new toys, children can clean out their toy boxes and closets and give to a charity those which they no longer use or want. Adults can do the same with clothes, household items or their own “toys.”
  • Recount the good times by writing thank you notes. Handwritten notes acknowledging the gift of time shared can be meaningful—for the writer as well as the recipient.
  • Instead of putting this year’s holiday pictures away in a drawer along with all those other photos of years gone by, set aside time to put holiday photos in a scrapbook. Make it a family project.
  • When the weather permits, take walks outside. When the weather doesn’t cooperate, exercise inside. Put on some music and dance with yourself.
  • Schedule a pleasant activity for yourself EVERY DAY. Even if it’s only a hot bath or a half hour with a favorite book.
  • Bring beauty into your home and your life. Taking down the holiday decorations can make a place feel dull and empty. Fill it up again with art, candles, flowers and bowls of fruit.
  • Plan a trip or a project. Working on something and making plans gives you something to look forward to.
  • Volunteer to help others or for a good cause through one of your favorite charitable organizations.
  • Recognize that this time and these feelings too shall pass, as night turns to day and winter to spring.

Feelings that go beyond “the blues”—those that are more debilitating, or that extend past the first few weeks after the holidays—may signal more serious depression. Seek help when you need it. Remember, life is a marathon and team sport. You’re in it for the long haul and you don’t have to go it all alone.

Author’s content adapted under license, © 2008 Claire Communications

 

FREE Coaching Opportunity
($250 VALUE)

If someone offered you a precious gift for an hour of your time, would you be interested? That’s what I offer with a Complimentary Coaching Session. A comp session isn’t a brief demo or sample. It’s a full 45-minute coaching session focused on current real life challenges of your choosing plus 15 minutes to discuss your experience and any questions you may have about my approach to coaching.

There is no expectation or pressure to hire me as your ongoing coach. Providing meaningful, substantive comp sessions with no obligation is one of the ways I demonstrate gratitude and give back to the Universe a small portion of the abundance and opportunity it bestows on me daily.

The real value of a comp session? PRICELESS! 

Those who have experienced comp sessions will tell you, when you come to your session open to the possibilities for transformation and fully committed to your own growth, big breakthroughs can happen!

FREE Coaching Session

What clients say about
the power of coaching with Deborah 

“I knew Deborah before she became a Professional Life Coach. I’ve been amazed at how she has changed her life. When I decided it was time to begin making decisions about the next phase of my life, I knew immediately that Deborah was the person I wanted to work with. Her personal and professional experiences help her guide clients through coaching in a way that is individualized and delightfully eye-opening. Her warmth and sensitivity are immediately apparent, even over the phone. With gentle encouragement and permission, she will guide you through an examination of your life, including difficult experiences. She will help you gain insight from your past choices and then explore possibilities for moving forward in less encumbered ways. When you work with Deborah, your life will take on new meaning and your potential will be limitless!” Chris

“The work I did with Deborah continues to change my life. While I have learned many valuable lessons from her, the greatest was the deep insight that is available to me when I listen to and learn from my own inner wisdom. Her intuition, discernment and encouragement have taught me to trust my own intuition—creating new paths and possibilities for my life. One of Deborah’s great gifts is helping others respect and connect with their inner guidance and through that connection, to form a deeper, more meaningful bond with the collective wisdom and energy of all.” Ryan

Click here to sign up for a 60-minute
complimentary coaching session with Deborah.

 

What readers say about
the impact of Deborah’s book

“With the same energy and determination she applied in the professional world, Deborah has taken her considerable expertise in human potential and has now set her sights on the largest co-op in the world, humanity. ‘Choose Your Energy, Change Your Life!’ tackles what I believe are the most important questions we each must ask: who am I, where did I come from, why am I here, and what’s love got to do with it (cue Tina Turner)? These are not trivial or philosophical questions for the answers change what we do, why we do it, who and what we love. I am grateful for the opportunity to walk with Deborah on this critical journey.” JD Messenger, Award Winning Author of “11 Days in May: The Conversation That Will Change Your Life”

“To me the great thing about Deborah’s book is how ‘accessible’ she makes the ideas. The Oxygen Mask is probably the single best example. As with so many of the ideas in the book, she explains the principle in such a simple way that it’s got universal application to virtually any reader. I can imagine people having multiple moments of ‘Oh….I get it!’ throughout the book. The stories from her own life as well as stories of her clients’ experiences become stories about all of us—stories about which the reader will think, ‘I am living my own version of this.’ Well done—bravo!” Joe Calloway, Author of “Be The Best At What Matters Most”

Click here to explore Deborah’s book.

© Copyright 2016 DJW Life Coach LLC. All rights reserved.
Posted in All My Blog Posts, Stress, Perfectionism & Burnout | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Top Ten Tips for a Fabulous New Year

Happy New Year 2016The best way to have a fulfilling, meaningful year is to LIVE ON PURPOSE, with authenticity, day by day, letting go of any disappointments, appreciating the good moments, one by one. 

Here are ten suggestions
to help launch your
HAPPY NEW YEAR

  1. Slow down. Be present in your life and mindful of the present.
  2. Care for your body, eat well, exercise, treat yourself to loving, nurturing self-care.
  3. Spend quality time with family and friends. Communicate, keep in touch. Say I love you. Tell people you appreciate them.
  4. Clean up what needs to be cleaned up. Make amends, fix what’s broken, clear away clutter, forgive what needs to be forgiven and let go.
  5. Rest, reflect, recharge and renew yourself throughout the day. Take a walk, read a poem or a good book, listen to music (really listen); bring beauty into your life. On a monthly basis, take a whole day for yourself—play, treat yourself to something you want to do; retreat from your daily life. Mark these special days on your calendar (in ink) so you’ll be certain to take them.
  6. Dream BIG.
  7. Commit to something you really want to do or learn or attain. Setting that intention is the first step. Then set achievable baby step goals and work toward your dream on a daily basis. Baby step, gratitude, celebrate, REPEAT!
  8. Give yourself to a cause, volunteer at a nonprofit organization, a community group, your church or lend a hand to an individual or family who could use your help.
  9. Practice your spirituality in whatever form you express it, on a daily basis.
  10. Laugh every day.
Author’s content adapted under license, © 2008 Claire Communications

 

FREE Coaching Opportunity
($250 VALUE)

If someone offered you a precious gift for an hour of your time, would you be interested? That’s what I offer with a Complimentary Coaching Session. A comp session isn’t a brief demo or sample. It’s a full 45-minute coaching session focused on current real life challenges of your choosing plus 15 minutes to discuss your experience and any questions you may have about my approach to coaching.

There is no expectation or pressure to hire me as your ongoing coach. Providing meaningful, substantive comp sessions with no obligation is one of the ways I demonstrate gratitude and give back to the Universe a small portion of the abundance and opportunity it bestows on me daily.

The real value of a comp session? PRICELESS! 

Those who have experienced comp sessions will tell you, when you come to your session open to the possibilities for transformation and fully committed to your own growth, big breakthroughs can happen!

FREE Coaching Session

What clients say about
the power of coaching with Deborah 

“I knew Deborah before she became a Professional Life Coach. I’ve been amazed at how she has changed her life. When I decided it was time to begin making decisions about the next phase of my life, I knew immediately that Deborah was the person I wanted to work with. Her personal and professional experiences help her guide clients through coaching in a way that is individualized and delightfully eye-opening. Her warmth and sensitivity are immediately apparent, even over the phone. With gentle encouragement and permission, she will guide you through an examination of your life, including difficult experiences. She will help you gain insight from your past choices and then explore possibilities for moving forward in less encumbered ways. When you work with Deborah, your life will take on new meaning and your potential will be limitless!” Chris

“The work I did with Deborah continues to change my life. While I have learned many valuable lessons from her, the greatest was the deep insight that is available to me when I listen to and learn from my own inner wisdom. Her intuition, discernment and encouragement have taught me to trust my own intuition—creating new paths and possibilities for my life. One of Deborah’s great gifts is helping others respect and connect with their inner guidance and through that connection, to form a deeper, more meaningful bond with the collective wisdom and energy of all.” Ryan

Click here to sign up for a 60-minute
complimentary coaching session with Deborah.

 

What readers say about
the impact of Deborah’s book

“With the same energy and determination she applied in the professional world, Deborah has taken her considerable expertise in human potential and has now set her sights on the largest co-op in the world, humanity. ‘Choose Your Energy, Change Your Life!’ tackles what I believe are the most important questions we each must ask: who am I, where did I come from, why am I here, and what’s love got to do with it (cue Tina Turner)? These are not trivial or philosophical questions for the answers change what we do, why we do it, who and what we love. I am grateful for the opportunity to walk with Deborah on this critical journey.” JD Messenger, Award Winning Author of “11 Days in May: The Conversation That Will Change Your Life”

“To me the great thing about Deborah’s book is how ‘accessible’ she makes the ideas. The Oxygen Mask is probably the single best example. As with so many of the ideas in the book, she explains the principle in such a simple way that it’s got universal application to virtually any reader. I can imagine people having multiple moments of ‘Oh….I get it!’ throughout the book. The stories from her own life as well as stories of her clients’ experiences become stories about all of us—stories about which the reader will think, ‘I am living my own version of this.’ Well done—bravo!” Joe Calloway, Author of “Be The Best At What Matters Most”

Click here to explore Deborah’s book.

© Copyright 2016 DJW Life Coach LLC. All rights reserved.
Posted in All My Blog Posts, Authenticity & Purpose, Creativity & Self-Expression, Intuition & Intention, Joy & Vitality, Mindfulness, Meditation & Peace | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Rejoice, Give Thanks and Sing!

When we choose to look at everything
through the lens of gratitude,
our perspective is always
rose-colored by appreciation.

I first became acquainted with the idea of a gratitude practice in 1995 through Sarah Ban Breathnach’s book Simple Abundance. The book’s core concept was to begin and end each day by naming at least five things for which I was grateful. Some days the list overflowed with twenty-five or more items, evidence of my consciousness of the generosity of the Universe. Other days, when I perceived things as going poorly, I struggled to identify even five things for which I was thankful.

I followed the gratitude practice off and on through the years but abandoned it entirely at the very time when I could have most benefited from it. When I got insanely, stressfully busy in the final years of my consulting career, I left the gratitude practice by the side of the road, having erroneously concluded that I was too busy to be intentionally grateful.

Fast forward to 2010, when I had left consulting, lost eighty pounds, escaped depression, and began pursuing my calling as an empowerment coach and Reiki master, teaching others about the transformative power of falling in love with themselves. Though love, respect, curiosity, and compassion were serving me well in manifesting unconditional self-love, sometimes when my life became especially complex, the judging voice could still take over with its fear-based constricting messages of doom and gloom.

One day, during written meditation, I remembered the power of my former gratitude practice and wondered if it might be the missing link. As I went beyond just a morning and evening event to making it a way of life I call radical gratitude, here is what I discovered.

Love and gratitude serve as the bookends of constructive core energy. Between them, they encompass and support all the other aspects of love: respect, curiosity, and compassion. Love initiates the flow of core energy; gratitude expands it. Love is the originator. Gratitude is the catalyst. Through the eyes of gratitude, we see that everything is an opportunity, a grace-filled gift of Universal love characterized by loving-kindness, elegant beauty, copious generosity, and infinite mercy.

Gratitude is ContagiousRadical gratitude fosters a life of generous, effortless, gracious flow filled with faith, hope, prosperity, peace, and joy. So many things to be grateful for: clean water; hot showers; technology; healthcare; education; heat in the winter and air conditioning in the summer; healthy food; animal companions; smiles, hugs, and kisses; and physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual abilities.

10 Things to Be Grateful For

Yes, we’re thankful for our health, our safety, our loved ones. But what else? What do we take for granted? What moves us? What would fill our hearts daily if we would just notice it?

1. The senses. Sight, sound, touch, smell and taste—daily miracles each of them.

2. The plant world. From the productivity of a late-summer tomato plant to the delicate unfurling of a fern, nature’s exuberance and tenderness is something to behold.

3. Our steady companion, opportunity is always ready to take us down a path yet unknown. (Hint: We have to say “Yes!”)

4. What do your eyes feast on? What splendor makes your soul rejoice? It is all around us every day. How often do you stop to drink it in?

5. The ability to learn. There is no age limit on learning—period. When we stop learning, we really stop living.

6. Young children. They model for us innocence, faith, resilience, playfulness and unconditional love.

7. What music inspires you, lifts your mood? Rock & roll, African drumming, violin concertos, Turkish oud, gospel? A nightingale?

8. The ability to give. Every act of love benefits the giver as much as the receiver.

9. Color. Sunsets, Gauguin paintings, green peppers, blue eyes. Imagine a world without color….

10. Change. It’s unavoidable; the only constant. Change can be unsettling or challenging. But the mystery of it and what lies beyond it can keep us young at heart.

Author’s content adapted under license, © 2008 Claire Communications

 

Real-Time Gratitude:
The Antidote to Fear

On-the-spot, real-time gratitude is the most powerful antidote I know to fear and any of its ugly cousins—frustration, judging, resistance, jealousy, worry, scarcity, depression, despair, and the like. When I stay centered in gratitude for all of life’s simple blessings, I find it easier to stay anchored there in the more painful times. The friend who dumps me. The spouse who becomes ill. The hurricane that devastates the beloved South Jersey Shore of my childhood. The movie theater mass shooting in my hometown of Aurora, Colorado. Being present in New York City on September 11, 2001, where I spent the night accounting for my missing consulting colleagues. When viewed through the lens of gratitude, even those painful experiences are opportunities for deeper insight, greater compassion, dramatic personal growth, and increased appreciation for the gift of life. In the words of the great sage Kahlil Gibran, “Wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving.”

And, if, on your darkest days, despite your best efforts, you still can find nothing to appreciate, try doing a simple kindness for someone in need. If you are like many, you just may find the hope and gratitude you awaken in another will rekindle the flame of hope and gratitude in your own troubled heart.

 

FREE Coaching Opportunity
($250 VALUE)

If someone offered you a precious gift for an hour of your time, would you be interested? That’s what I offer with a Complimentary Coaching Session. A comp session isn’t a brief demo or sample. It’s a full 45-minute coaching session focused on current real life challenges of your choosing plus 15 minutes to discuss your experience and any questions you may have about my approach to coaching.

There is no expectation or pressure to hire me as your ongoing coach. Providing meaningful, substantive comp sessions with no obligation is one of the ways I demonstrate gratitude and give back to the Universe a small portion of the abundance and opportunity it bestows on me daily.

The real value of a comp session? PRICELESS! 

Those who have experienced comp sessions will tell you, when you come to your session open to the possibilities for transformation and fully committed to your own growth, big breakthroughs can happen!

FREE Coaching Session

What clients say about
the power of coaching with Deborah 

“I knew Deborah before she became a Professional Life Coach. I’ve been amazed at how she has changed her life. When I decided it was time to begin making decisions about the next phase of my life, I knew immediately that Deborah was the person I wanted to work with. Her personal and professional experiences help her guide clients through coaching in a way that is individualized and delightfully eye-opening. Her warmth and sensitivity are immediately apparent, even over the phone. With gentle encouragement and permission, she will guide you through an examination of your life, including difficult experiences. She will help you gain insight from your past choices and then explore possibilities for moving forward in less encumbered ways. When you work with Deborah, your life will take on new meaning and your potential will be limitless!” Chris

“The work I did with Deborah continues to change my life. While I have learned many valuable lessons from her, the greatest was the deep insight that is available to me when I listen to and learn from my own inner wisdom. Her intuition, discernment and encouragement have taught me to trust my own intuition—creating new paths and possibilities for my life. One of Deborah’s great gifts is helping others respect and connect with their inner guidance and through that connection, to form a deeper, more meaningful bond with the collective wisdom and energy of all.” Ryan

Click here to sign up for a 60-minute
complimentary coaching session with Deborah.

 

What readers say about
the impact of Deborah’s book

“With the same energy and determination she applied in the professional world, Deborah has taken her considerable expertise in human potential and has now set her sights on the largest co-op in the world, humanity. ‘Choose Your Energy, Change Your Life!’ tackles what I believe are the most important questions we each must ask: who am I, where did I come from, why am I here, and what’s love got to do with it (cue Tina Turner)? These are not trivial or philosophical questions for the answers change what we do, why we do it, who and what we love. I am grateful for the opportunity to walk with Deborah on this critical journey.” JD Messenger, Award Winning Author of “11 Days in May: The Conversation That Will Change Your Life”

“To me the great thing about Deborah’s book is how ‘accessible’ she makes the ideas. The Oxygen Mask is probably the single best example. As with so many of the ideas in the book, she explains the principle in such a simple way that it’s got universal application to virtually any reader. I can imagine people having multiple moments of ‘Oh….I get it!’ throughout the book. The stories from her own life as well as stories of her clients’ experiences become stories about all of us—stories about which the reader will think, ‘I am living my own version of this.’ Well done—bravo!” Joe Calloway, Author of “Be The Best At What Matters Most”

Click here to explore Deborah’s book.

© Copyright 2015 DJW Life Coach LLC. All rights reserved.
Posted in All My Blog Posts, Gratitude, Prosperity & Abundance | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Family Holiday Gatherings: How to Thrive, Not Just Survive

Relationships are the doctoral program of life lessons. And nowhere is that more apparent than at the annual family holiday gathering (also known as the dreaded yearly oral exam).

Let’s face it, spending time with family can be tricky any time of year, but there’s something about the pressure of the holidays that can bring out the absolute worst in even the most loving tribe. For some families, holiday events are a masquerade ball with everyone straining to convey harmony while struggling to hide their apathy and antipathy. For others, they’re knock down, drag out brawls worthy of the mixed martial arts Xtreme Fighting Championships.

Surviving Family Holiday Gatherings

Looking for a little help?
Try some of these tips.

  1. Weigh the pros and cons. Clear your head, find a calm moment and decide whether it is best for you to attend or not to attend—that is the (first) question.
  2. Exercise portion control. Plan shorter visits for just appetizers or dessert.
  3. Refresh your memory. Reflect on the issues and dynamics that have proven your undoing at past events and plan a more constructive approach.
  4. Dig deeper. How do you contribute to the tension? Can you relax your judgmental mind and focus on understanding others’ points of view?
  5. Pay attention. Family rooted uncomfortable emotions can be easily triggered. Recognizing them quickly can help you deal with them more effectively and minimize the damage.
  6. Be gracious. Demonstrate respect and compassion for yourself and everyone involved.
  7. Seek to understand. Get to the heart of things by asking questions in a genuinely curious, relaxed, open, undefensive way. Read Sharon Ellison’s Taking the War Out of Our Words or Non-Violent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg.
  8. Be patient. Real change—in you and your family members—takes time.
  9. Take care of yourself. If the atmosphere isn’t safe, leave. Gather with friends, do volunteer work or nurture, encourage and delight yourself—ALL ALONE.
  10. Call a friend. Regain your sense of perspective and much appreciated support by debriefing after the visit with someone you trust.
Author’s content adapted under license, © 2008 Claire Communications

 

FREE Coaching Opportunity
($250 VALUE)

If someone offered you a precious gift for an hour of your time, would you be interested? That’s what I offer with a Complimentary Coaching Session. A comp session isn’t a brief demo or sample. It’s a full 45-minute coaching session focused on current real life challenges of your choosing plus 15 minutes to discuss your experience and any questions you may have about my approach to coaching.

There is no expectation or pressure to hire me as your ongoing coach. Providing meaningful, substantive comp sessions with no obligation is one of the ways I demonstrate gratitude and give back to the Universe a small portion of the abundance and opportunity it bestows on me daily.

The real value of a comp session? PRICELESS! 

Those who have experienced comp sessions will tell you, when you come to your session open to the possibilities for transformation and fully committed to your own growth, big breakthroughs can happen!

FREE Coaching Session

What clients say about
the power of coaching with Deborah 

“I knew Deborah before she became a Professional Life Coach. I’ve been amazed at how she has changed her life. When I decided it was time to begin making decisions about the next phase of my life, I knew immediately that Deborah was the person I wanted to work with. Her personal and professional experiences help her guide clients through coaching in a way that is individualized and delightfully eye-opening. Her warmth and sensitivity are immediately apparent, even over the phone. With gentle encouragement and permission, she will guide you through an examination of your life, including difficult experiences. She will help you gain insight from your past choices and then explore possibilities for moving forward in less encumbered ways. When you work with Deborah, your life will take on new meaning and your potential will be limitless!” Chris

“The work I did with Deborah continues to change my life. While I have learned many valuable lessons from her, the greatest was the deep insight that is available to me when I listen to and learn from my own inner wisdom. Her intuition, discernment and encouragement have taught me to trust my own intuition—creating new paths and possibilities for my life. One of Deborah’s great gifts is helping others respect and connect with their inner guidance and through that connection, to form a deeper, more meaningful bond with the collective wisdom and energy of all.” Ryan

Click here to sign up for a 60-minute
complimentary coaching session with Deborah.

 

What readers say about
the impact of Deborah’s book

“With the same energy and determination she applied in the professional world, Deborah has taken her considerable expertise in human potential and has now set her sights on the largest co-op in the world, humanity. ‘Choose Your Energy, Change Your Life!’ tackles what I believe are the most important questions we each must ask: who am I, where did I come from, why am I here, and what’s love got to do with it (cue Tina Turner)? These are not trivial or philosophical questions for the answers change what we do, why we do it, who and what we love. I am grateful for the opportunity to walk with Deborah on this critical journey.” JD Messenger, Award Winning Author of “11 Days in May: The Conversation That Will Change Your Life”

“To me the great thing about Deborah’s book is how ‘accessible’ she makes the ideas. The Oxygen Mask is probably the single best example. As with so many of the ideas in the book, she explains the principle in such a simple way that it’s got universal application to virtually any reader. I can imagine people having multiple moments of ‘Oh….I get it!’ throughout the book. The stories from her own life as well as stories of her clients’ experiences become stories about all of us—stories about which the reader will think, ‘I am living my own version of this.’ Well done—bravo!” Joe Calloway, Author of “Be The Best At What Matters Most”

Click here to explore Deborah’s book.

© Copyright 2015 DJW Life Coach LLC. All rights reserved.
Posted in All My Blog Posts, Stress, Perfectionism & Burnout | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Grief Takes No Holidays

For those experiencing sorrow—whether through death, separation, divorce, illness, job loss or relocation—the glittering commercialism and unrelenting cheer of the holiday season can be stressful.

Facing any holiday or special occasion with an empty chair at the table can make unbearable grief so much worse, says Karen Silbert, MD, Associate Professor of Anesthesiology at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles, who suffered the loss of her five-month-old daughter.

Many people believe that anyone who has experienced great loss should be “over it” in six months or so. If only that were true. Emotions of the bereaved can be terribly raw. It can be difficult for them to cope in social situations during the holidays, when tears would be out of place, Silbert says.

At holiday time, many who are dealing with loss are caught in a dilemma between needing to grieve and feeling pressured to “get into the spirit” of the season.

Grief Takes No HolidaysBut holidays can stimulate memories and a renewed wave of pain, which feels even more pronounced. And it’s not only holidays that may trigger deep feelings of new or renewed grief. Birthdays, anniversaries and other special occasions present a challenge for many, even after years have passed.

Though the experience of grief may ebb and flow, many grief counselors and experts believe it never completely disappears. But, while those who are grieving may feel even greater hurt during the holidays, they may also find new hope and healing for their aching hearts.

Tending Grief

Here are some suggestions from bereavement expert Dr. Judith Johnson—author, educator, life coach and interfaith minister—to help the bereaved maintain inner balance during the holidays.

  1. Reach out to friends, family, clergy and anyone who can give you comfort and solace during this difficult time.
  1. Pay attention and be deeply honest with yourself about what you need to do and not do through the holidays or other significant occasions. Be patient, kind and compassionate with yourself about what is true for you.
  1. Take loving care of yourself. Grief expresses in many ways. Give yourself permission to feel lethargic, grumpy or out of sorts. Stay focused on what’s happening inside you and tend to yourself as you would anyone else you love deeply.
  1. Anticipate and plan ahead. “Don’t wait for others to make plans for you that may or may not have anything at all to do with what you really need,” Dr. Johnson said. “Face your truth and communicate what you need.”
  1. Make room for your grief or sadness. “Grief is a very private matter and the holidays have a way of magnifying it,” Dr. Johnson counsels. “Welcome your grief. Your sadness and tears are expressions of the healing process.” Embrace your grief and trust that it is helping you heal.
Author’s content adapted under license, © 2008 Claire Communications
  

FREE Coaching Opportunity
($250 VALUE)

If someone offered you a precious gift for an hour of your time, would you be interested? That’s what I offer with a Complimentary Coaching Session. A comp session isn’t a brief demo or sample. It’s a full 45-minute coaching session focused on current real life challenges of your choosing plus 15 minutes to discuss your experience and any questions you may have about my approach to coaching.

There is no expectation or pressure to hire me as your ongoing coach. Providing meaningful, substantive comp sessions with no obligation is one of the ways I demonstrate gratitude and give back to the Universe a small portion of the abundance and opportunity it bestows on me daily.

The real value of a comp session? PRICELESS! 

Those who have experienced comp sessions will tell you, when you come to your session open to the possibilities for transformation and fully committed to your own growth, big breakthroughs can happen!

FREE Coaching Session

What clients say about
the power of coaching with Deborah 

“I knew Deborah before she became a Professional Life Coach. I’ve been amazed at how she has changed her life. When I decided it was time to begin making decisions about the next phase of my life, I knew immediately that Deborah was the person I wanted to work with. Her personal and professional experiences help her guide clients through coaching in a way that is individualized and delightfully eye-opening. Her warmth and sensitivity are immediately apparent, even over the phone. With gentle encouragement and permission, she will guide you through an examination of your life, including difficult experiences. She will help you gain insight from your past choices and then explore possibilities for moving forward in less encumbered ways. When you work with Deborah, your life will take on new meaning and your potential will be limitless!” Chris

“The work I did with Deborah continues to change my life. While I have learned many valuable lessons from her, the greatest was the deep insight that is available to me when I listen to and learn from my own inner wisdom. Her intuition, discernment and encouragement have taught me to trust my own intuition—creating new paths and possibilities for my life. One of Deborah’s great gifts is helping others respect and connect with their inner guidance and through that connection, to form a deeper, more meaningful bond with the collective wisdom and energy of all.” Ryan

Click here to sign up for a 60-minute
complimentary coaching session with Deborah.

 

What readers say about
the impact of Deborah’s book

“With the same energy and determination she applied in the professional world, Deborah has taken her considerable expertise in human potential and has now set her sights on the largest co-op in the world, humanity. ‘Choose Your Energy, Change Your Life!’ tackles what I believe are the most important questions we each must ask: who am I, where did I come from, why am I here, and what’s love got to do with it (cue Tina Turner)? These are not trivial or philosophical questions for the answers change what we do, why we do it, who and what we love. I am grateful for the opportunity to walk with Deborah on this critical journey.” JD Messenger, Award Winning Author of “11 Days in May: The Conversation That Will Change Your Life”

“To me the great thing about Deborah’s book is how ‘accessible’ she makes the ideas. The Oxygen Mask is probably the single best example. As with so many of the ideas in the book, she explains the principle in such a simple way that it’s got universal application to virtually any reader. I can imagine people having multiple moments of ‘Oh….I get it!’ throughout the book. The stories from her own life as well as stories of her clients’ experiences become stories about all of us—stories about which the reader will think, ‘I am living my own version of this.’ Well done—bravo!” Joe Calloway, Author of “Be The Best At What Matters Most”

Click here to explore Deborah’s book.

© Copyright 2015 DJW Life Coach LLC. All rights reserved.
Posted in All My Blog Posts, Grief, Loss & Bereavement, Stress, Perfectionism & Burnout | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Holidays: Here They Come, Ready or NOT!

Somewhere around September when the weather changes, the kids go back to school and the leaves begin to wither, it starts. By Halloween it’s gathering momentum and by Thanksgiving, it has us in a full-body press. “It” is The Holidays, and whether you celebrate Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa or simply “the season,” what everybody has in common during the last quarter of the year is stress with a capital S.

No wonder. All those events and activities, family gatherings. The kids are out of school again, houseguests are coming or you’re planning a trip. Don’t even mention shopping for gifts, sending greeting cards or decorating the house. The credit cards are maxed out, you’ve got more chores than you can shake a stick at and your “to do” list is longer than Santa’s beard.

You swore it would
all be different this year.

The Holidays: Here They Come, Ready of NOT!

Take heart. It’s not too late.
With intention, you can
actually ENJOY the holidays.

First thing to remember: take good care of yourself: Eat mindfully and healthfully, get plenty of rest (schedule it in), exercise regularly, drink lots of water. Breathe deeply. Relax and have fun. (Schedule that in, too.)

During the holidays when already too-busy lives become even more hectic, some serious time management is in order. Create a list of all the things you want to do and set aside times to accomplish certain tasks. Prioritize. Assign some chores to your partner, children and grandchildren. Ask friends for help. Consider scratching a few items off your list.

Make a budget and stick to it. Shop by catalog via the phone or internet. Remember, it’s not the price, but the thoughtfulness of the gift. Don’t waste money on some gimmick that will wind up on the back of someone’s closet shelf. Use gift certificates if you’re unsure of what to give.

If the kids are out of school and caretaking schedules are disrupted, look for ways to share day care arrangements. Check out holiday activities for children at children’s museums, libraries or the Y. This might be the year the older ones get a seasonal job or perform volunteer work.

Remember, adults aren’t the only ones who feel more stress during the holiday season. Children experience it, too. Keep communication lines open and spend quality time with your youngsters. This is a wonderful time to share your family’s holiday traditions through story-telling or special seasonal activities.

Getting the young ones outside the house for full-body exercise will help them and you to work off stress. Go out and play together.

Having houseguests? Try to make them as self-sufficient as possible. Ask for help. And even though it might be fun, don’t wear yourself out by staying up late every night or stuffing each day as full as a Christmas goose.

Family gatherings may be complex given blended families and special holiday arrangements. Conflicting family expectations and demands can create guilt and resentment. If family gatherings cause tension and anxiety, consider alternatives that can lessen the effects. Make plans well enough in advance so you can discuss them with others involved. Avoid any last minute surprises or disappointments.

Most important of all,
MAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF.

Find a place where you can be quiet and restful. Take a walk, breathe in the fresh air. Look around you, notice nature’s response to the season and let yourself be amazed.

However you celebrate the season, remember to make it peaceful and joy-filled. Happy holidays!

Author’s content adapted under license, © 2010 Claire Communications  

 

FREE Coaching Opportunity
($250 VALUE)

If someone offered you a precious gift for an hour of your time, would you be interested? That’s what I offer with a Complimentary Coaching Session. A comp session isn’t a brief demo or sample. It’s a full 45-minute coaching session focused on current real life challenges of your choosing plus 15 minutes to discuss your experience and any questions you may have about my approach to coaching.

There is no expectation or pressure to hire me as your ongoing coach. Providing meaningful, substantive comp sessions with no obligation is one of the ways I demonstrate gratitude and give back to the Universe a small portion of the abundance and opportunity it bestows on me daily.

The real value of a comp session? PRICELESS! 

Those who have experienced comp sessions will tell you, when you come to your session open to the possibilities for transformation and fully committed to your own growth, big breakthroughs can happen!

FREE Coaching Session

What clients say about
the power of coaching with Deborah 

“I knew Deborah before she became a Professional Life Coach. I’ve been amazed at how she has changed her life. When I decided it was time to begin making decisions about the next phase of my life, I knew immediately that Deborah was the person I wanted to work with. Her personal and professional experiences help her guide clients through coaching in a way that is individualized and delightfully eye-opening. Her warmth and sensitivity are immediately apparent, even over the phone. With gentle encouragement and permission, she will guide you through an examination of your life, including difficult experiences. She will help you gain insight from your past choices and then explore possibilities for moving forward in less encumbered ways. When you work with Deborah, your life will take on new meaning and your potential will be limitless!” Chris

“The work I did with Deborah continues to change my life. While I have learned many valuable lessons from her, the greatest was the deep insight that is available to me when I listen to and learn from my own inner wisdom. Her intuition, discernment and encouragement have taught me to trust my own intuition—creating new paths and possibilities for my life. One of Deborah’s great gifts is helping others respect and connect with their inner guidance and through that connection, to form a deeper, more meaningful bond with the collective wisdom and energy of all.” Ryan

Click here to sign up for a 60-minute
complimentary coaching session with Deborah.

 

What readers say about
the impact of Deborah’s book

“With the same energy and determination she applied in the professional world, Deborah has taken her considerable expertise in human potential and has now set her sights on the largest co-op in the world, humanity. ‘Choose Your Energy, Change Your Life!’ tackles what I believe are the most important questions we each must ask: who am I, where did I come from, why am I here, and what’s love got to do with it (cue Tina Turner)? These are not trivial or philosophical questions for the answers change what we do, why we do it, who and what we love. I am grateful for the opportunity to walk with Deborah on this critical journey.” JD Messenger, Award Winning Author of “11 Days in May: The Conversation That Will Change Your Life”

“To me the great thing about Deborah’s book is how ‘accessible’ she makes the ideas. The Oxygen Mask is probably the single best example. As with so many of the ideas in the book, she explains the principle in such a simple way that it’s got universal application to virtually any reader. I can imagine people having multiple moments of ‘Oh….I get it!’ throughout the book. The stories from her own life as well as stories of her clients’ experiences become stories about all of us—stories about which the reader will think, ‘I am living my own version of this.’ Well done—bravo!” Joe Calloway, Author of “Be The Best At What Matters Most”

Click here to explore Deborah’s book.

© Copyright 2015 DJW Life Coach LLC. All rights reserved.
Posted in All My Blog Posts, Stress, Perfectionism & Burnout | Tagged , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Finding Comfort in a World Where Uncomfortable Things Happen

The secret to finding comfort in a world where uncomfortable things happen? Embrace love to strengthen acceptance, reveal possibilities and increase joy. For more details, click the links below to listen to my most recent conversation with author Betsy Otter Thompson concerning the principles she shares in her book, Love Human. And as a bonus, I’ve also included links to the recording of Betsy’s 2013 guest appearance on my radio show during which we explored another of her books, What Happens If I….

Author Betsy Otter Thompson

About Betsy Otter Thompson

A Philadelphia native with a B.F.A. from the University of Pennsylvania, Betsy worked as an account executive for several Philadelphia radio stations and as a commercial print model, appearing in television commercials in Philadelphia and New York.

After moving to California, Betsy struggled and nearly became homeless. When she recognized her tendency to blame everyone else for her problems and decided to become accountable, she began to recover. For the next eighteen years, Betsy worked as an Executive Assistant to an entertainment executive in the film industry.

She retired in 2005 and is now writing full time. An author of five books, Betsy has a passion for communicating spiritual concepts. Her lessons have been about understanding how she faces herself wherever she goes. Betsy finally realized that each job and each person was an opportunity to know herself better, not an opportunity to blame others for her problems.

Links to Betsy’s Books

 

Recordings of Interviews
with Betsy Otter Thompson

Finding Comfort in a World
Where Uncomfortable Things Happen
November 19, 2015

"LoveHuman" by Betsy Otter ThompsonIn this episode, author Betsy Otter Thompson and I examine some of the key themes in her book, Love Human. The book’s insights are structured in the form of answers to 21 of life’s fundamental questions: the ones we ask over and over. In the answers to those questions, Betsy shares her insights for finding comfort in a world where uncomfortable things happen. Whatever the circumstances, the process of turning things around—and finding new possibilities—is the same: learning to embrace this world as it is—and the people around us as they are—and loving whatever that is. Not because it’s a perfect world, but because as we love and accept life as it is, love and acceptance grow. To learn more about Betsy’s presence in the world and purchase any of her other books, visit BetsyThompson.com.

Click here to listen to this episode now
Click here to download and listen to this episode at your convenience

 

Choosing Love: Harnessing the Physics of Action/Reaction
September 25, 2013

"What Happens If I..." by Betsy Otter ThompsonIn her book, What Happens If I…, my guest, Betsy Otter Thompson covers many different topics from what happens if I do what I love and the money doesn’t come, to what happens if I use my sob story to manipulate, to what happens if I think I have to be perfect. The book helps readers become aware of just how balanced the universe is in its emotional action/reaction physics. It’s easy to make wise decisions if you recognize that a lack of love is an unwise decision. It’s easy to choose satisfying lifestyles if you know the consequences of choosing unsatisfying lifestyles. It’s easy to love when you know that the act of giving brings you everything you are here for. There is no sugar coating in this book. Betsy readily admits that life is sometimes difficult and situations are often challenging. But with humor, she offers a message that helps us to remember that the journey is not about what happens to us, but how we handle what happens. Learn more at BetsyThompson.com.

Click here to listen to this episode now
Click here to download and listen to this episode at your convenience

 

Here’s what Betsy said about
being a guest on the show…

Thank you for the privilege of being on your show. Much to my delight, this beautiful hour started out with a moment of quiet prayer, continued with an easy repartee that allowed each of us to share our hearts in a meaningful way, and ended with the revelation of just how appreciative you are of the people around you; people who rarely, if ever, get publicly acknowledged. Thank you for inspiring me to be a better person.

© Copyright 2015 DJW Life Coach LLC. All rights reserved.
Posted in All My Blog Posts, Curiosity, Respect & Compassion, Mindfulness, Meditation & Peace, The Power of Sharing Your Story | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Who’s Minding the Store?

I frequently hear from readers, listeners and clients that they are encouraged and gain even deeper insight when I share my personal ups and downs. They learn how to sustain faith and hope while treating themselves with respect and compassion when they too stray from the path.

A Zen mistress living a perpetually serene life
in a mountain retreat would soon be
of little use to anyone living in the real world.

Based on yet another experience, it would appear I have little risk of transitioning to that sort of existence any time soon. Hallelujah, opportunities will abound for the foreseeable future!

Here’s the story. Recently, during what could have been a fun-filled group outing, I found myself feeling unloved and ignored. If you’ve read chapter six of my book, Choose Your Energy: Change Your Life!, you’ll recognize those feelings as a perfect storm to activate the core fears of my ‘personal board of directors’—I DON’T MATTER and I AM POWERLESS. Uh-oh!

So, what constructive, compassionate
response did I choose when I was feeling
uncomfortable at the outing?

I binged on potato chips at the after party to distract my heart by momentarily delighting my taste buds and helping me to hold onto my body armor for protection in the form of extra layers of fat. How human and un-loving of me.

Who's Minding the Store?

When I returned home, I immediately recognized my old dysfunctional coping mechanism and tried to process it with non-judgmental respect, curiosity and compassion rather than self-loathing and shame. Unfortunately, when the original frustration and sadness persisted, I added insult to injury by gorging on popcorn and animal crackers while watching TV in a state of utter exhaustion based in too little sleep for too many nights in a row, pressures of launching a new radio show this week and emotional overwhelm due to severe, prolonged health challenges four loved ones are experiencing. Guess what? That didn’t make me feel better either.

THE GOOD NEWS? I’M STILL HUMAN!

Here’s what came to me the following morning. The way I treated myself the previous night was far more insidious, considerably more disrespectful and decidedly more unloving than whatever slights (real or imagined) I thought I had experienced at the hands of others. Because I KNOW WITH EVERY FIBER OF MY BEING that overeating junk will not return the sense of generous, effortless, gracious flow that I was longing for. Junk food is not a journey of lasting faith, hope, prosperity, peace and joy. The initial bliss of eating the chips didn’t even carry me through the rest of the evening because I felt I needed to give it another go when I returned home.

The core lesson (and first of fourteen tools for fostering flow shared in chapter 7 of my book): PAY ATTENTION.

If I’m not feeling as loved as I’d like,
the first relationship to examine
is my relationship with myself.

Am I demonstrating unconditional love for myself by nurturing, encouraging and delighting myself IN HEALTHY WAYS no matter what my circumstances or companions?

My own carelessness and inconsistency in showing up for myself with love is often the primary contributor to any sense of love deficit I may be experiencing at any time. When I can trust myself to be ever mindful and unwavering in unconditional love, respect, curiosity, compassion and gratitude for myself and every aspect of my journey, I am not so easily tossed about by circumstances and the good health, good mood and goodwill of others. It is not statistically reliable to depend on others to 1) know exactly what I need in each moment and 2) be willing and able to provide it at just the right time 24-7. Not because they lack compassion or competence but because they already have their hands full managing the one life for which they are completely response-able: their own.

My latest little detour is a great reminder that if I pay more attention to recognizing what’s happening with me and engaging consciously and constructively to support my optimal functioning physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually, I’ll experience a more consistent flow of faith, hope, prosperity, peace and joy than if I just keep hoping someone else will show up to make it all better for me.

Fortunately, my job description
for this lifetime doesn’t
include perfection as a
requirement or even a goal.

MY PRIMARY ASSIGNMENT?

In every situation, love yourself enough to pay attention to every aspect of your life. Respect everything you are experiencing—what you are thinking, feeling, deciding, saying, and doing. Determine whether the energy underneath is love or fear. If it’s love, you are probably on your authentic path. If it’s fear, demonstrate compassion for yourself. Foster gratitude by reminding yourself that everything is an opportunity. Then further neutralize the fear by bringing curiosity to bear. Explore every aspect of the situation, especially your internal landscape, and identify all of the opportunities available to you through this unique experience. As with any new skill, practice will help this way of being become a healthy new habit—your automatic response to every situation.

Note to self—there’s always another opportunity
to start fresh and make better choices.

Today is that day. Every moment is that moment. You are loved and loving, blessed and a blessing. And so it is. Namaste. Amen. Blessed Be.

 

FREE Coaching Opportunity
($250 VALUE)

If someone offered you a precious gift for an hour of your time, would you be interested? That’s what I offer with a Complimentary Coaching Session. A comp session isn’t a brief demo or sample. It’s a full 45-minute coaching session focused on current real life challenges of your choosing plus 15 minutes to discuss your experience and any questions you may have about my approach to coaching.

There is no expectation or pressure to hire me as your ongoing coach. Providing meaningful, substantive comp sessions with no obligation is one of the ways I demonstrate gratitude and give back to the Universe a small portion of the abundance and opportunity it bestows on me daily.

The real value of a comp session? PRICELESS! 

Those who have experienced comp sessions will tell you, when you come to your session open to the possibilities for transformation and fully committed to your own growth, big breakthroughs can happen!

FREE Coaching Session

What clients say about
the power of coaching with Deborah 

“I knew Deborah before she became a Professional Life Coach. I’ve been amazed at how she has changed her life. When I decided it was time to begin making decisions about the next phase of my life, I knew immediately that Deborah was the person I wanted to work with. Her personal and professional experiences help her guide clients through coaching in a way that is individualized and delightfully eye-opening. Her warmth and sensitivity are immediately apparent, even over the phone. With gentle encouragement and permission, she will guide you through an examination of your life, including difficult experiences. She will help you gain insight from your past choices and then explore possibilities for moving forward in less encumbered ways. When you work with Deborah, your life will take on new meaning and your potential will be limitless!” Chris

“The work I did with Deborah continues to change my life. While I have learned many valuable lessons from her, the greatest was the deep insight that is available to me when I listen to and learn from my own inner wisdom. Her intuition, discernment and encouragement have taught me to trust my own intuition—creating new paths and possibilities for my life. One of Deborah’s great gifts is helping others respect and connect with their inner guidance and through that connection, to form a deeper, more meaningful bond with the collective wisdom and energy of all.” Ryan

Click here to sign up for a 60-minute
complimentary coaching session with Deborah.

 

What readers say about
the impact of Deborah’s book

“With the same energy and determination she applied in the professional world, Deborah has taken her considerable expertise in human potential and has now set her sights on the largest co-op in the world, humanity. ‘Choose Your Energy, Change Your Life!’ tackles what I believe are the most important questions we each must ask: who am I, where did I come from, why am I here, and what’s love got to do with it (cue Tina Turner)? These are not trivial or philosophical questions for the answers change what we do, why we do it, who and what we love. I am grateful for the opportunity to walk with Deborah on this critical journey.” JD Messenger, Award Winning Author of “11 Days in May: The Conversation That Will Change Your Life”

“To me the great thing about Deborah’s book is how ‘accessible’ she makes the ideas. The Oxygen Mask is probably the single best example. As with so many of the ideas in the book, she explains the principle in such a simple way that it’s got universal application to virtually any reader. I can imagine people having multiple moments of ‘Oh….I get it!’ throughout the book. The stories from her own life as well as stories of her clients’ experiences become stories about all of us—stories about which the reader will think, ‘I am living my own version of this.’ Well done—bravo!” Joe Calloway, Author of “Be The Best At What Matters Most”

Click here to explore Deborah’s book.

© Copyright 2015 DJW Life Coach LLC. All rights reserved.
Posted in All My Blog Posts, Curiosity, Respect & Compassion, Mindfulness, Meditation & Peace | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Give the Gift of Love, Hope, Possibilities and Empowerment This Holiday Season

As a coach, author, speaker, singer, artist, consultant, radio host, Reiki Master and EFT/tapping practitioner, I share hope, possibilities and empowerment with the world. What’s love got to do with minimizing stress and getting unstuck? Everything! My book, Choose Your Energy: Change Your Life! (Hay House/Balboa Press 2013) shares my story and the stories of 10 of my clients along with my signature Discovery Framework.

Give the Gift of Love, Hope, Possibilities and Empowerment

During my 30 years as an organization transformation consultant, I served as a senior partner in four of the world’s largest, most prestigious global professional services firms. In 2005, I took a five-year sabbatical to find healing and peace because non-stop work had taken its toll. My recovery from burnout, including a sustained 80-pound weight loss and freedom from 10 years of debilitating depression, led to finding my purpose guiding others on their journeys.

Through healing and self-exploration, I discovered that loving yourself unconditionally is the key to transforming your personal life, your work and the world. With attention and intention, I learned to live in alignment with love through a wealth of energy-shifting tools and techniques that help me reduce stress, anxiety and overwhelm by releasing limiting beliefs, emotions and habits.

My books, blog, radio show and signature coaching programs help individuals and organizations harness the transformative energy of love to turn unexplored possibilities into fulfilling realities and step into their greatness. To learn more about my work in the world, visit djwlifecoach.com.

 

What clients say about
the power of coaching with me

“I knew Deborah before she became a Professional Life Coach. I’ve been amazed at how she has changed her life. When I decided it was time to begin making decisions about the next phase of my life, I knew immediately that Deborah was the person I wanted to work with. Her personal and professional experiences help her guide clients through coaching in a way that is individualized and delightfully eye-opening. Her warmth and sensitivity are immediately apparent, even over the phone. With gentle encouragement and permission, she will guide you through an examination of your life, including difficult experiences. She will help you gain insight from your past choices and then explore possibilities for moving forward in less encumbered ways. When you work with Deborah, your life will take on new meaning and your potential will be limitless!” Chris

“The work I did with Deborah continues to change my life. While I have learned many valuable lessons from her, the greatest was the deep insight that is available to me when I listen to and learn from my own inner wisdom. Her intuition, discernment and encouragement have taught me to trust my own intuition—creating new paths and possibilities for my life. One of Deborah’s great gifts is helping others respect and connect with their inner guidance and through that connection, to form a deeper, more meaningful bond with the collective wisdom and energy of all.” Ryan

Click here to sign up for a 60-minute
complimentary coaching session with me.

 

What readers say about
the impact of my book

“With the same energy and determination she applied in the professional world, Deborah has taken her considerable expertise in human potential and has now set her sights on the largest co-op in the world, humanity. ‘Choose Your Energy, Change Your Life!’ tackles what I believe are the most important questions we each must ask: who am I, where did I come from, why am I here, and what’s love got to do with it (cue Tina Turner)? These are not trivial or philosophical questions for the answers change what we do, why we do it, who and what we love. I am grateful for the opportunity to walk with Deborah on this critical journey.” JD Messenger, Award Winning Author of “11 Days in May: The Conversation That Will Change Your Life” 

“To me the great thing about Deborah’s book is how ‘accessible’ she makes the ideas. The Oxygen Mask is probably the single best example. As with so many of the ideas in the book, she explains the principle in such a simple way that it’s got universal application to virtually any reader. I can imagine people having multiple moments of ‘Oh….I get it!’ throughout the book. The stories from her own life as well as stories of her clients’ experiences become stories about all of us—stories about which the reader will think, ‘I am living my own version of this.’ Well done—bravo!” Joe Calloway, Author of “Be The Best At What Matters Most”

Click here to explore my book.

© Copyright 2015 DJW Life Coach LLC. All rights reserved.
Posted in All My Blog Posts, Falling in Love With Yourself | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Essence of Being C-O-N-F-I-D-E-N-T

Self-confidence comes from recognizing and appreciating your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual talents, skills and abilities. Self-confidence is fueled by a healthy sense of self-esteem grounded in awareness of and unconditional love for every aspect of yourself.

The Essence of Being C-O-N-F-I-D-E-N-T

People who are confident
share these important characteristics

C = CAPABLE

Confident people are capable. They know they are good enough, competent and can handle life’s situations.

Being capable also means recognizing when you can’t handle a situation on your own and being willing and able to find the necessary help, information or skill.

Knowing you are your greatest resource protects you from stress. Believing you are capable means that whatever the task, you will handle it with or without help. By believing in yourself, you face life with complete assurance.

O = OWN IT

Confident people own their thoughts, feelings, priorities, choices, emotions, words, reactions and actions. The buck stops here: no excuses necessary.

N = NURTURE THEMSELVES

Confident people believe in their value and worth. They know they are worth the time, money and energy required to nurture and support themselves in growth and fulfillment.

This could look like taking a class to learn something new just for the joy of it, making good nutrition and exercise priorities, providing quiet time to re-energize and rejuvenate or pampering themselves with a massage or manicure.

F = FULLY PRESENT

Confident people engage in the present moment. They are not distracted by past or future events or obsessed with the impression they are making.

Practice being fully present in each of life’s activities, big and small, whether you are alone or with others. When you brush your teeth, focus on brushing your teeth. When you empty the dishwasher, focus on putting the dishes away. When you are with a friend, pay close attention and avoid the all-too-common habit of listening merely to reload with what you want to say next.

I = INTEGRITY

Confident people are true to themselves. They live in alignment with their principles and perspectives, despite what others think, say or do.

D = DEMEANOR

People with confidence have a powerful physical presence. It shows in their posture, body language, eye contact and dress.

When you look confident, people will treat you accordingly which will further boost your confidence.

E = ENDURE

Confident people don’t give up. They take risks knowing they will sometimes fall short of their goals.

If everything always works out exactly as you intend, it may be that you are living so cautiously that you are stunting your ability to learn and grow. Remember: there are no mistakes or failures, only things that didn’t work out as you planned in the way and time you expected.

Because confident people know that everything is an opportunity, they choose to live in a state of curiosity rather than counterproductive shame and blame.

N  = NOT ARROGANT

Confident people are not arrogant. Arrogance is an attempt to mask low self-esteem and fears of scarcity. It undermines interpersonal relationships. For people who are really confident, the focus is never on being superior to others or hogging the limelight.

Confident people lift others up. They give others credit, encourage every bit of progress, praise efforts readily and applaud results sincerely.

T = TAKE ACTION

Confident people take action.  They don’t indulge in endless analysis and talk. They don’t allow fear to paralyze them. They act, assess results, adjust their course and act again until they cross the goal line or realize along the way that a different objective is preferable and attainable.

The more we take action and learn to adjust on the fly, the more confident we become. We try, we tweak, we try again and we succeed. Each success fuels even greater confidence and success. Before you know it, this healthy habit is a rewarding way of life.

 

Confidence Builder and Path Finder:
“Who Am I and Why Am I Here?”

Just as every snowflake is one-of-a-kind, there is no one else who is exactly like you. No one else has your specific blend of strengths and quirks. No one else feels exactly as you do in every situation. No one else sees everything as you do. No one has had the same precise mix of experiences. You are a unique cocreative expression of the divine.

Want to boost your self-confidence? Learn to embrace and appreciate every aspect of yourself and your journey in each moment—the ups and downs, the twists and turns, the traits that thrill you and those that frustrate you and everyone who knows you.

Demonstrate unconditional love for yourself by always nurturing, encouraging and delighting yourself in healthy ways—NO MATTER WHAT. Respect every decision by appreciating that you are always doing the best you can with the love and light you have at the time. Honor every leg of your journey by remembering that the highest good is always unfolding for all, in all, through all.

To help you get better at loving yourself and recognizing your authentic path in every minute, complete the following statements with as many examples as possible.

I am…
I would like to…
I never want to…
People can count on me for…
People notice that I…
People never notice that I…

I am at my best when…
I am at my worst when…
When I am at my worst, I am…
When I am at my best, I am…
The best thing that could happen to me is…

The worst thing that could happen to me is…

I am very happy that I…
I get lost in time when I…
My favorite activities are…
My least favorite activities are…
I look forward to…
I dread…

I am passionate about…
I am bored by…
I am good at…
I am not good at…
I wish others knew I..
I don’t want others to know I…

I am happiest when…
I am most unhappy when…
I am proud that I…
I am ashamed that I…
When I am proud of myself, I…
When I am ashamed of myself, I…

If I had endless time, I would…
If I had mountains of money, I would…
If I had loads of talent, I would…
If I weren’t too young, I would…
If I weren’t too old, I would…

If I didn’t care what anyone else thought, I would…
If I knew I couldn’t fail, I would…
If I knew I could make a living at it, I would…
If I didn’t need to make any money at it, I would…
If I didn’t care what anyone else thought, I would…

To gain even deeper insights about your authentic life passions, purpose and path, repeat this exercise periodically and notice how your answers are evolving.

And if you find you’d appreciate having a professional partner and guide in learning to love yourself unconditionally, discovering your purpose and living your authentic life, check out the FREE coaching and book offers below.

 

FREE Coaching Opportunity
($250 VALUE)

If someone offered you a precious gift for an hour of your time, would you be interested? That’s what I offer with a Complimentary Coaching Session. A comp session isn’t a brief demo or sample. It’s a full 45-minute coaching session focused on current real life challenges of your choosing plus 15 minutes to discuss your experience and any questions you may have about my approach to coaching.

There is no expectation or pressure to hire me as your ongoing coach. Providing meaningful, substantive comp sessions with no obligation is one of the ways I demonstrate gratitude and give back to the Universe a small portion of the abundance and opportunity it bestows on me daily.

The real value of a comp session? PRICELESS! 

Those who have experienced comp sessions will tell you, when you come to your session open to the possibilities for transformation and fully committed to your own growth, big breakthroughs can happen!

FREE Coaching Session

What clients say about
the power of coaching with Deborah 

“I knew Deborah before she became a Professional Life Coach. I’ve been amazed at how she has changed her life. When I decided it was time to begin making decisions about the next phase of my life, I knew immediately that Deborah was the person I wanted to work with. Her personal and professional experiences help her guide clients through coaching in a way that is individualized and delightfully eye-opening. Her warmth and sensitivity are immediately apparent, even over the phone. With gentle encouragement and permission, she will guide you through an examination of your life, including difficult experiences. She will help you gain insight from your past choices and then explore possibilities for moving forward in less encumbered ways. When you work with Deborah, your life will take on new meaning and your potential will be limitless!” Chris

“The work I did with Deborah continues to change my life. While I have learned many valuable lessons from her, the greatest was the deep insight that is available to me when I listen to and learn from my own inner wisdom. Her intuition, discernment and encouragement have taught me to trust my own intuition—creating new paths and possibilities for my life. One of Deborah’s great gifts is helping others respect and connect with their inner guidance and through that connection, to form a deeper, more meaningful bond with the collective wisdom and energy of all.” Ryan

Click here to sign up for a 60-minute
complimentary coaching session with Deborah.

 

What readers say about
the impact of Deborah’s book

“With the same energy and determination she applied in the professional world, Deborah has taken her considerable expertise in human potential and has now set her sights on the largest co-op in the world, humanity. ‘Choose Your Energy, Change Your Life!’ tackles what I believe are the most important questions we each must ask: who am I, where did I come from, why am I here, and what’s love got to do with it (cue Tina Turner)? These are not trivial or philosophical questions for the answers change what we do, why we do it, who and what we love. I am grateful for the opportunity to walk with Deborah on this critical journey.” JD Messenger, Award Winning Author of “11 Days in May: The Conversation That Will Change Your Life”

“To me the great thing about Deborah’s book is how ‘accessible’ she makes the ideas. The Oxygen Mask is probably the single best example. As with so many of the ideas in the book, she explains the principle in such a simple way that it’s got universal application to virtually any reader. I can imagine people having multiple moments of ‘Oh….I get it!’ throughout the book. The stories from her own life as well as stories of her clients’ experiences become stories about all of us—stories about which the reader will think, ‘I am living my own version of this.’ Well done—bravo!” Joe Calloway, Author of “Be The Best At What Matters Most”

Click here to explore Deborah’s book.

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